There are some passages of scripture I greatly hesitate to preach. The closer we get to them, the more I get scared, because they are so deep and glorious. I feel I may devalue and taint them by my preaching. We come to such a passage in today’s study: Philippians 2:5-11. Let me read that passage:
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Like a child standing awestruck before Mount Everest and wondering how to climb it, I look at this passage. May the Holy Spirit help me and you to grasp this most glorious text in the New Testament. It is not a passage you study once and forget; if we are to live worthy of the gospel, this truth should brightly and hotly burn in our minds. That is why in the Greek language, Paul wrote it in the form of a hymn. Perhaps the New Testament churches sang this again and again to grasp the depth of this passage. Theologians have called it a Christological gem, a diamond that sparkles brighter than perhaps any other passage in the New Testament. It is unparalleled in the New Testament and describes the voluntary condescension of the second person of the Trinity into human incarnation. That Jesus Christ voluntarily left the highest position in the universe and went to the very lowest position on Earth in order to save us.
It’s very important to remember that as theologically glorious as this passage is, it was not written for us to simply admire theology. The whole context of this passage is for it to have a deep practical impact on our lives. Remember the context: the broad context is Paul calling the Philippians to live a lifestyle worthy of the gospel. In one part, the church lives worthy of the gospel before the world. We saw Paul’s melting plea for the church to live in complete spiritual unity. Verse 2 says: “like-minded, having the same love, united in soul, one purpose.” Then he tells us how to attain such unity: we have to leave three things—selfish ambition, vain pride, and selfishness focused only on yourself. You have to focus on growing in two spiritual graces: “in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” and “selfless love – let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Lowliness of mind or humility and selfless love are the root of all unity.
Paul knows this is a revolutionary idea for people who are naturally selfish and find it easy to be proud. “Pastor, you ask me to give up many things in life; I will do it,” you might say, “but how can we give up our own selfish purpose, vain pride, and ego? We think it is a basic right, the apple of our eye, the treasure of our life. People live for self-satisfaction and vain pride. If there is something we have to hold with a death grip, we should hold onto that.” Even for Christians with remaining sin, it’s so difficult to loosen that grip. God’s high salvation blessings of justification, adoption, Holy Spirit anointing, and eternal glory, instead of making us humble, can even make us proud. We don’t realize that it is that selfishness that not only spoils our happiness, but also hinders us from living a useful, God-glorifying life. If we always stick to ourselves, our ego, our pride, and our things, then we sadly fulfill the Lord’s words: “He who wants to save his life will lose it.” We lose everything in the end.
Paul knows it is so difficult for us to live with a lowliness of mind and selfless love. So, after he lists these revolutionary things, he sets the glorious example of our Lord Jesus Christ before us and tells us the only way we can be like this is to have the mind of Christ.
Notice verse 5: “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” This is a command: have this mind or attitude or disposition that was operative in our Lord Jesus Christ. Now, how did the mind of Christ operate? He shows all he did, doing everything with a lowliness of mind and selfless love.
Again, this passage is a Mount Everest full of majesty and grandeur. We could actually do a 10-day retreat just seeing the depth of this passage, but we can never reach the bottom of this bottomless ocean. Today we will probably see the flow, and then keep coming back to this mountain and applying it to various aspects of our lives.
Just to give a broad picture of the passage, Paul shows us how lowliness of mind (LOM) and selfless love (SL) are wonderfully revealed in three states of Christ. Think of these three states of Christ set before us in the passage. The first state is his pre-incarnate glory, in verse 6: “who being in the form of God counted not the being on an equality with God a thing to be grasped,” or more selfishly, retained. Then, in verses 7 and 8, we have his second state described as his state of incarnate humiliation. The third state is then verses 9 through 11, his state of incarnate exaltation: “wherefore God hath highly exalted him.” So we will look at these three states of Christ.
If the Holy Spirit fixes this truth of Christ’s humiliation and glory in a true believer’s heart, it will give him all the power to overcome natural pride and selfishness and live with a lowliness of mind and selfless love. The greatest example of humility and selfless love is Christ. So Paul presents here a concrete, indelible picture of a lowliness of mind and selfless love, which alone can bring true unity in the church.
First of all, then, is his state of Pre-incarnate Glory. The word “pre” means “before.” Pre-incarnate means the state of our Lord before he became man. Who was he? What was his state? He was the second person of the Godhead, the eternal Word, the eternal Son of the Living God. That was his state or condition of pre-incarnate glory. Now what was that state? Look at the passage: “5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God.”
The word “form” does not mean a mere appearance. He was found existing in the very form, the morphe, of God. What does “form” mean? You don’t know how much twisting happens with this word. People will come to you and say, “Ah, the form of God is not God.” Then they will say, “See the next phrase explains that: ‘to be equal with God.’ Oh again they will say, ‘See, he didn’t try to snatch it as the devil did,’ because he was not equal to God.” But if we say that, the whole context of Paul’s argument is meaningless if he is not God.
“Form of God” means he was equal to God. He was equal in the essence of God. He had all the essence of God, all the attributes of God we study. Jesus Christ had all the outshining perfections of what God is. His nature was fully God. His glory was not veiled; it was manifest to all holy beings in heaven. He was worshiped as God. Remember in Isaiah 6 that Isaiah saw the Lord “sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his flowing garment filled the temple.” Great archangels, Cherubim and Seraphim with six wings, two wings covered their faces, two wings covered their feet, and with two wings they flew, burning and crying to one another, saying, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God of hosts.” John 12 says that it was Christ and his glory Isaiah saw. All creatures of heaven worshiped and praised him as God. He was always worshiped for his essence. He was in such a high position that no creature in the universe dared to speak a word of shame or mockery. He lived with infinite glory as God in nature.
His works were the works of God. The Word of God says he was the creator of all things, and “without him was not anything made that hath been made.” He created the invisible and visible universe, all creatures in them. He is your creator and mine. He is the preserver and provider; he upholds and governs all things he has made. Everything is held together by the word of his power. He was heir of all things. He owned all things as God’s only Son. This is the position he was in—the highest position—being equal to God in essence, glory, worship, and all his works. He was equal to God as the second person in the Trinity. If you and I were in that position, what would we do? If in providence God gives you a position, wealth, or position in the office or family, you want to hold on to it with a death grip.
But look at the mind of Christ. Though the humiliation of Christ is infinite, for our understanding Paul lists seven steps of Christ’s humiliation. In every step, we see his LOM and SL. Imagine them as seven ladder steps of his humiliation.
First step: How did he look at his state? How did Christ look at his glorified state? Look at the passage: “6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God.” Wow, amazing! That highest state of dignity and glory, if anyone has to stick to it and never give it up, it has to be that state. He counted equality with God—that high position—not a thing to be selfishly retained. Wow.
Remember the context, my brothers and sisters in the church, do you say, “I am such a big person, I am a glorious child of God. I have my rights, I have my personal dignity, ego, and self-respect. That is more dear to me. I can never give that up even if I die. You can preach about lowliness of mind all your life, but I cannot give up all that status and become humble and melting, and love others selflessly for church unity. I will be what I am. My own vain glory; that is everything for me.”
Paul says, “Oh, selfish, proud creatures, see this transforming, amazing sight! Lord Jesus in his state of pre-incarnate glory, equal with the Father in glory, essence, and honor, God as creator and upholding all things in providence, receiving the adoration and praise of all holy beings, heir of all things—that position of glory and honor he did not regard as a thing to be selfishly retained. It was already his by right. It was already his in possession. But he had such LOM; he didn’t regard that glorious state to be something to be held with a death grip. ‘I will never give it up, whatever happens.’ What mind Christ had! This is what Paul tells us we should learn.
Think of it: the mind and attitude of Christ as God being God, the highest status, unimaginable privileges. That position was infinitely perfect, infinitely fulfilling, the highest in the universe. Now, look at the first step of his great humility. This is the high point from which he stoops. His lowly mind thought this loftiness was not something to be clutched, something to be selfishly held on to. That’s the first step down when you begin to loosen your grip on selfish status, pride, and positions. That’s where humiliation begins. Anyone who stoops begins with that kind of attitude. “I will not clutch my privileges, possessions, rights, and blessings, no matter what my elevated position might be.”
Now the attitude becomes an action. Next, verse 7 tells of his state of incarnation. The second step of His humiliation: “7, but made Himself of no reputation.” A good translation is “He emptied Himself.” He emptied himself. In his great lowliness of mind and selfless love for his people, his action was to empty himself. What did he empty? Oh, who can explain this mystery? Let me say a few things. Firstly, he gave up heavenly glory. In John 17:4-5, he says, “Father, restore Me to the glory I had with You before the world began.” Secondly, he gave up the independent authority that he had as God. He gave up that independent authority, and Hebrews 5:8 says that “He learned obedience.” He didn’t have to learn obedience before. He operated independently, as God operates independently, even within the Trinity. He emptied his independent authority and submitted in every way to obey his Father. Think of all his divine attributes of power and knowledge, all submitted, controlled, and used only as his Father told him. He even limited his omniscience. In Matthew 24:36, he said he didn’t even know the time that the Father had in mind for the setting up of his kingdom. He said, “no man knows… not even the Son.” Thirdly, what he set aside were his eternal riches. It would be impossible for me to explain how rich he was, but we know what 2 Corinthians 8:9 says. It says, “He was rich, but for your sakes He became” – what? – “poor.” And he was so poor he said, “the foxes have holes, the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man hath not where to lay His head.” John would sadly say, “And every man went to his own house, and Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.” Why? He had no house. Poor.
That is all we know, but it is a loaded phrase. We never know what it means to be God, or have such a high position, so we can never know what it means when he left his glory, his dignity, his privileges, and his riches. He gave up all and became empty. Notice it highlights that he did it himself. Nobody forced him; it was fully voluntary. He gave up a lot. But that’s what humility does. It is willing to give up status, prestige, pride, and selfishness; it humbles itself for the good of others.
“He emptied himself” doesn’t mean he stopped being God; that is impossible. One attribute of God is that he is immutable in essence. “I am the Lord, I change not from eternity to eternity.” He cannot “ungod” himself. That is very clear in the New Testament. He said, “I and my Father are one.” He could not lose any of his essential attributes. If he loses any one, he ceases to exist. That is impossible. So he continued to be God, but what changed in his humiliation? He emptied his state of glory and honorable position, his riches; the condition in which he exists as God—that was emptied.
How far does it go? Let’s follow it down. Third step: In verse 7, “He emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant.” He emptied himself and then further humbled himself by taking the form of a bondservant. He was in the form of God, very God. He emptied himself from that, and the very same word is used here: he now takes the morphe, the form of a bond-slave. From being an independent, all-authority Lord of glory, he comes all the way down to slavery. Doulos, “a bond-slave”—all the way down, all the way down, from eternal King to slave. The most humble form with no rights, no privileges, no authority, a bond-slave. This is not a drama. He literally took on the essential character of a slave. He said, “I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22:27). In Matthew 20:28, “the Son of Man didn’t come to be served, but to serve, to give His life.” He came all the way down, emptied himself, and became a slave. And he served sinful men as one who was a slave. What humility!
Then, the fifth step: “and coming in the likeness of men.” He took on a true humanity. He not only took on true humanity, but humanity was in the form of a bondservant without any rights. He became a real man. He became like us. He had all the attributes of humanness. He became a genuine man. In that phrase is embodied all of the mystery of a true conception in the womb of the Virgin Mary. One who just spoke worlds and galaxies by the breath of his words became an invisible tiny cell in Mary’s womb, the upholder of the universe, hanging in a small umbilical cord and upheld by the womb of a weak woman.
He was “made in the likeness of men.” The phrase means that from the vantage point of the people who saw and experienced him, they saw no difference in him; he was exactly like them. He lived among them in such a way that they didn’t have any feeling that there was one condescending to them. They didn’t have any feeling that this was a reluctant stooping down. He appeared as a man to them so much that they couldn’t believe him when he said he was the Son of God. That is his great humility. It’s like a rich king going and living in a slum to identify with its residents, and nobody knew. He so completely gave himself to them and their needs that they didn’t know he was anything other than one of them.
So, trace the steps of this great humiliation:
- From the position “6 who, being in the form of God,”
- He “did not consider it robbery to be equal with God.”
- He “emptied himself.”
- He took “the form of a bondservant.”
- He came “in the likeness of men.”
- He was “found in appearance as a man.”
- The sixth step: He “humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death.” Is this not enough? God who made the universe, living, emptying himself, taking a bond-slave form, in human likeness, so much so that people don’t realize it’s him, in the most poor, humble form with no place to lay his head, being insulted in every way. What condescension! “Wasn’t it humble enough to be a man?” No. “Wasn’t it humble enough to be a poor man?” No. “Wasn’t it humble enough to live the way they did with a simple life? He didn’t ask for a palace. He didn’t ask for a chariot. He didn’t ask for anything. Wasn’t that enough?” No. He stepped lower, down below that. It wasn’t enough just to be one of them; he went below that. How low did he go?
In verse 8, the sixth step: “He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death.” The eternal, immortal God went so low that he was willing to die for men. Now there is the epitome of selfless love and humiliation. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” No man took his life from him; he gave it up. Why did he die? That was the only way to deliver man from sin. Since the wages of sin were death, somebody had to die. Since God required a sacrifice, someone had to be the sacrifice. He humbled himself to serve man so much that he decided to die in man’s place and pay the penalty for his sin. He humbled himself “to the point of death.”
That’s not even the final bottom rung in the ladder coming down. Look at the last one: “even death on a cross.” The ultimate humiliation of crucifixion. You see, he cannot go below this. This is the bottom of even human shame. He touched the bottom on the cross.
Think of Paul writing this as a Roman citizen; he knew the worst shameful death was the cross. No Roman citizen would be crucified; that was only given to the lowest criminal slaves. It was looked upon with the utmost contempt, for a monster who should not be given any rights, no sympathy, or mercy. Paul’s Roman mind, writing with adoring wonder, sees the bottom of his humiliation, “even the death of the cross.” No Roman citizen would ever come near a cross. The very name of the cross was far from them, not even in their thoughts, so shameful. Also, think of it, Philippi was a Roman colony. They understood as Romans what a shameful thing the cross is. When they heard these words of Paul, “he humbled himself to the cross,” their whole bodies would be shocked. Jesus, being equal to God, humbled himself to this lowest shame.
That is the worst form of humiliating, tortured death man has ever devised. Incredible pain, a body dehydrated. All of the bones would go out of joint, the unbelievable shame and nakedness and disgrace, the spit of people and their blows and their punches and jeers, social disgrace. And beyond that, becoming sin, becoming a curse, the desertion of God, the excruciating experience of the cross, a symbol of dying under the worst curse of God, the wrath of God. But that’s how far he humbled himself to save you and me. To people who didn’t deserve it, who didn’t even want it, and who still don’t want it, except that God in his free, sovereign grace gives it to them. The emphasis of the passage is that at every point, there was voluntary, deliberate obedience.
Paul calls us, “Oh, selfish and vain, proud beings, behold this ladder of humiliation and selfless love.”
- “6 who, being in the form of God, 1. did not consider it robbery to be equal with God,”
- “2. He emptied himself.”
- “3. taking the form of a bondservant,”
- “4. and coming in the likeness of men.”
- “5. And being found in appearance as a man,”
- “6. He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death,”
- “7. even the death of the cross.”
This is the greatest model of LOM and SL. The supreme illustration of humility. Here you see LOM, self-sacrifice. Here you see self-denial. Here you see self-giving. Here you see humble love. The command of God through the apostle, if you are a true believer, is verse 5: “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”
How will this mindset reveal itself to others? “3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
My brothers and sisters, do you have this mind of Christ in your life? If you ever struggle with humility or self-denial or serving those who are hard to love, think on this picture of Christ. This is what he did for you. Let this mind which was Christ be in you. I hope that every time you read that passage, you’ll not only think about Christ but you’ll compare yourself to the standard, because that’s the standard of humility. God calls us to live with LOM and SL as followers of Christ.
Next week, we will see his glorification. Verses 9-11 show that he was gloriously rewarded for this self-emptying, this selfless love to sinners. “Therefore God has highly exalted him.” And it will be true for you as well, because his kingdom rule is “Whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12).
Application
This is high Christological theology, but you know the whole passage is practical; it should practically impact every aspect of our lives. Instead of talking in the sky, can I get very practical and start with application first to basic things in the family? Because what we practice in the family is what will be reflected in the church.
Just think of so many problems in the family you and I struggle with in husband-wife and children relationships. We wonder what is wrong with our family. Can I say this passage tells us what is wrong with our families? We fail to cultivate these principles of harmonious relationships in our families.
God has ordained that the husband is the head of the family; he should lead the family. The wife’s role is to be his helper and submit to his headship. Why are there so many struggles in roles? Why is there no spiritual unity in the family? Why no unity? Only two reasons: selfish ambition and vain pride. How? If we have to glorify Christ by our family, should we not strive for such a biblical unity of having one mind, the same love, united in spirit, and one purpose? That unity can come when we not only have these verses at the door of every room, but we practice these verses: “verse 3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Lowliness of mind and selfless love are the secret to any family unity.
Think of the husband-wife relationship. God intended it to be the most intimate, loving human relationship; in fact, it is a shadow of Christ’s relationship with the church. “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church; gave himself so sacrificially, selflessly.” How should he lead the family? Most houses have horrible disunity because the husband doesn’t examine his heart. And though he’s a Christian, he doesn’t kill his selfish ambition, he keeps doing everything with selfish ambition and empty conceit. With that, he will either unnecessarily tyrannize the family with insensitivity and inflexibility, or he will be a master of emotional blackmail, controlling wives emotionally, failing in many responsibilities, or doing it all with a selfish motive and vain pride.
How many families suffer because of “my husband is a selfish, vain, proud man who only cares about his happiness, his name, his fame, his reputation, his empty pride, and has no care for how others feel or what their needs are”? Like the king of the hill, he thinks, “All should serve this king of the hill.” With such a selfish, vain, proud man, wives cannot even properly and legitimately give any corrective, constructive criticisms, either of his person or his performance. When she points out any fault, the arrogant man’s nose will become red, he will get angry, or he’ll be an emotional blackmailer. He will look pale and sad, and his wife won’t talk to him for one day; he won’t eat in the house; “there’s no respect in this house for me; my ego is hurt; I don’t want food.” Or sometimes he’ll take his clothes and say, “I will not live with you.” What will the poor wife do? She learns not to say anything. That will improve the man. “Whatever the king of the hill wants, let him do. We’re married, so what can I do? I’ll just live.” Why? Because he is full of selfish ambition and vain glory. Where can there be spiritual unity there?
With such a vain, proud man, if there is any gift, skill, knowledge, or talent in his wife that is more than his, if she is wiser than him in some area, he may not show it outside, but his heart cannot bear that. He’ll feel threatened. Why is he so filled with vain pride? Rather than being like Christ who nourishes and cherishes his church for its maturity, he will try to bury that and hinder that talent every way. “You don’t know all that; you cannot do that; don’t talk like a foolish woman; keep quiet.” He has no respect for her views.
Furthermore, he is always looking to his own things and not the things of his wife. This will make a husband think only of his own problems and take all decisions based on his likes and dislikes in everything, from food, to shopping, to dress color, to vacation, to the choice of TV programs.
Isn’t this the problem in houses? Severe tensions in husband-wife relationships because one of you is always looking out for your own things, judging and evaluating everything in the house in terms of your own personal preferences. You are insensitive to your wife’s taste in food and TV programs. How many suffer like this? Even marriages went to divorce fighting over the TV remote.
Apply this to many areas: the marriage bed, the house budget, and other areas. Some of us are so insensitive, so blind in our selfishness that we can’t see our wife’s needs and how she is suffering with us. She is hurt. She feels the pressure of that neglect, and it’s hard for her to submerge these growing tendencies to resentment. What happens to the unity in such a relationship? It is fractured by that resentment.
Christian husbands, do you see why it is essential for you and for me, if there is to be spiritual unity in the family, how desperately we need to have the mind of Christ, how desperately we need to cultivate the grace of a lowliness of mind, esteeming our wives better than ourselves, not looking to our own happiness, but to their happiness? May God lay his hand upon some of your hearts this morning and smite you with conviction, show you your sins as husbands.
Oh, if in your relationship with your wives you live according to this verse, “3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit,” then over all of your dealings must be written the words, “but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Husbands complain, “My wife never respects me, never listens to me. There is no honor for me.” If you want to be blessed in your family and want God to exalt you, humble yourself like Christ in this example. Though equal with God, he did not hold on to it selfishly, but emptied himself, took the form of a slave, and served others, so God highly honored him. In the same way, God exalts those who humble themselves, following his Son’s example. When you serve your wives like that, she will gladly accept your leadership; God will change her heart to follow you and honor you in everything.
For Wives: A Gospel-Worthy Family
Now, let’s turn to the wife’s role in a marriage for a gospel-worthy and blessed family. Wives are to be subject to their husbands in everything, just as the church is subject to Christ. This is a voluntary act.
When a woman is filled with selfish ambition and empty conceit, and controlled by those things, her attitudes, actions, and reactions will dictate to her husband’s headship. You know what the result is: a woman will fight, resist, and resent her place, producing disunity in the marriage.
Here is a husband humbly serving his wife and giving selflessly in order to fulfill his role as head. She, instead of uniting with her husband’s headship and acting as one soul with him, will have a selfish and proud heart that tries to maintain her own independent identity. The Bible says two shall be one flesh, but a proud woman will not unite in that; instead, she will try to project her independence.
The whole feminist identity and philosophy tells women that they are valuable only when they have their own identity, that their identity is not to be just a worker in the house, humbly serving a husband and children’s needs, and that they should work and go to big positions instead. For generations, parents who don’t live according to God’s word keep teaching girls this regularly: “Oh no, don’t stop working, you should have your own identity, your own independence.” Most of the time, they will want to benefit from her working, not because of a true concern for her happiness. There is nothing wrong with a woman working to support the family or for other reasons.
However, for a woman to see her identity as a working and earning woman is nothing but vain pride and selfish ambition. And with the excuse of working, a woman fails in her God-given responsibilities to her husband and children because she is busy trying to achieve something in the world.
This is a worldly, devilish mindset that says if you are a housewife, then you are nothing, so don’t waste your life. So a woman, as soon as she finishes her studies, works and works. She gets married, works and works. In pregnancy, she works and works. With so many household responsibilities, she runs after worldly positions, spoiling her health and leaving her family in a terrible state without a mother who takes care of the house. That is a cursed worldview. If you look at the root of all that, it is nothing but a woman with selfish ambition and vain pride. You can easily fall into this trap and mindset: “Oh, being a housewife is a servant’s job. I want my own identity.”
God doesn’t see it that way. God is not going to honor a selfishly ambitious and proud woman with a blessed family. If you want God to honor you and bless you, don’t do anything with selfish ambition and vain pride. Instead, with a lowliness of mind, consider your husband better than yourself, and don’t look only to your own needs, but also to your husband’s and children’s needs. When you are a housewife and are united with and supporting your husband, bringing up your children and taking care of the household with self-giving service, God will highly exalt you as he exalted his Son. That is the great calling of a woman. Mothers who rock the cradle rule tomorrow’s nations. If you can work after taking care of all that, that’s good. But if you fail in your household responsibilities because you want to make a name for yourself and earn big money, God sees nothing but a curse-worthy selfish ambition and vain pride. Write it down: in the end, you will stand empty without any of God’s blessings.
It is sad how sometimes a woman’s selfish ambition and vain pride even make her husband a slave to her dream. Where can we see a godly woman submitting to her husband in such a situation?
Furthermore, this vain pride will make a woman unwilling to submit to the authority of her husband. Her pride will always tell her, “How can I submit to this man? I’m wiser than him; he doesn’t know anything.” Sometimes it may be true; a woman may be more educated and have more practical wisdom. So what? Are you wiser than God? Do you want to reverse the roles and become the head of the family, commanding your husband in everything?
I have read about godly women who are ten times wiser than their husbands, and their husbands are just a dud who know nothing, but a godly woman never dominates him. In her lowliness of mind, knowing he is her God-given head, she humbly supports him, building up her husband to be a responsible head by suggesting and telling him humbly, “Think like this, do like this.” It’s a lovely thing to see. How many wise women have attracted people to the gospel by their submission to Christ?
One of the ugliest things is for a Christian woman in her pride to always show her superiority to her husband before everyone, even before unbelievers. She fights with her husband, telling him he isn’t doing things right, that he doesn’t know anything, and that he should follow what she tells him. She wants him to listen. Such women not only bring shame to themselves but also to the gospel.
No husband will truly respect such a woman. How can there be any godly unity between them? God’s command to wives is to be subject to their husbands in everything, and the Bible goes so far as to say, “Let the wife see that she reverences her husband.” Lowliness of mind and selfless love are not a biting, crouching reluctance in submitting to a husband’s headship but finding it a joy. Woman, do you see? If you don’t overcome your pride by God’s grace and kill the pride, that pride will make you utterly unwilling to submit to him.
She will be utterly insensitive to her husband’s needs. “I’ve given enough today in the care of the kids, housework, and office work. I don’t care that he comes home from work with his needs. I’ve had it; I’m tired.” A Christ-like mind says, “not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you to the things of others also.”
I can go on and tell you how a husband’s and a wife’s pride affects the raising of their children, causing so much disorder. There is no order or authority in the home. Why? When the head of the house, the husband, says something as an authority rule, the proud woman says, “Your daddy doesn’t know anything. I will tell you. Go.” That is how a proud woman not only disobeys authority herself but also teaches her children to disobey authority and destroys her family, and then wonders why her family is like this—so disorderly. When a woman fully submits to her husband’s authority with lowliness of spirit, you see her children following that.
Sisters, married or to be married, do you see how selfish ambition and vain pride can blind you? As long as selfish ambition and pride operate in your mind, there will be a dark cloud over your family. If you want God to honor you and bless your family, hear your prayers, and save your kids, making them a blessing, how much you need to see Christ’s example and learn from him and pray to the Holy Spirit to teach you lowliness of mind and selfless love. How beautiful our families will be when both husbands and wives practice this daily:
3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
This is the root from which all the fruit of unity comes—in marriage, in families, in churches. May this message strike your consciences, husbands and wives, today, and make us realize our sin and bring about a change of heart.
Those of you who don’t believe in Christ, do you see that you cannot follow this and be delivered from your natural pride and selfishness until God changes your heart? Doesn’t your conscience tell you that pride and selfishness are wrong? But you are born with that; there is nothing apart from this in your heart. Do you know why? The Bible says each of us is naturally born totally depraved from head to toe, totally corrupted. The expression of that is pride and selfishness, instead of love and giving glory to God who created you. This is your heart. You cannot change your heart. Only God can, when you come to Jesus Christ.
Many, many people don’t come to Christ because of pure selfishness. They think, “I will lose my name. If I come to Christ, I will suffer, so I will not come,” as if people outside of Christ don’t suffer. All of those are the devil’s lies to take you to eternal suffering.
Christ said, “He who wants to save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life will save it.” If you lose something for Christ, you will gain 100 times. You heard about Christ’s humiliation. You may think Christ lost so much and suffered so much, but the picture is not complete. We will see in the next passage that a day will come when Christ will be the greatest victor and winner; he will inherit all things. In the same way, if you believe in Christ today, you will gain everything and be glorified with him. Believe in Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.
Grace Reformed Baptist Church, Bangalore 