Grace Reformed Baptist Church, Bangalore

A sociologist who studies society and researches new generation trends tells us some interesting things. He says young people and children now have become more discontent; nothing is ever the way they would like it. This discontent makes them resist authority and responsibility, leading to an always-complaining attitude. They grow up through life with a kind of sullen discontent, a rejection of things the way they are, never satisfied with anything. No matter how much they have, it’s not enough.

The sociologist gave an interesting reason for this. This mindset is because today’s children are growing up in small families. With population growth, the motto “we two, ours two” has been reduced to one, so families don’t have many children. Most families have only one or two children. These one or two children become the center of all attention and affection; they become selfish, materialistic, proud, and self-indulgent. In the morning, a mother says, “Dear, what do you want for breakfast—idli, dosa, a burger, or a sandwich?” and for lunch, and for dinner. So they learn to order and their mother makes it. “Why do you do that? Make something healthy,” a person might ask. “What to do? They don’t eat it, and it goes to waste,” so the mother also gets used to making what the child wants. It’s the same with clothes. “I don’t like that color,” a child might say. So the mother asks, “Dear, what color and what dress do you want today?” They choose. Even the time of the meal—they choose what time they want to eat dinner, so the mother prepares for that. On top of that, parents keep buying what they want.

In large, old-fashioned families with four or five children, one food is made, and whether you like it or not, you get handed a plate, and that is what you learn to eat. In those times, family dinner was at 8 p.m.; everyone had to come and eat at that time, or you might not get some of the dishes. In those big, limited, and frugal middle-class families, when one kid says, “I don’t like that,” the kid next to him says, “Good, no problem,” takes it, and swallows it. So no one said, “I don’t want that and this”; whatever was made was eaten, and no one complained.

The difference is that where you have a small family, the family bends to the child. Where you have a large family, the child bends to the system. So the sociologist says we have a new generation of young people growing up in a free environment where the system bends to them. And you have child-centered parenting.

Isn’t this true? Think of us as kids 20 or 30 years ago. We lived in families where we ate what was given to us, and we wore what our parents bought. We had no choice. It was always my mother’s selection for me. I don’t know about you, but I was brought up like that; ask my wife. Whatever was in the house, I would eat. In fact, simpler things like rice soup were no problem. So we were taught to conform to the system.

The reverse is true now. Such children, who grow up controlling the family, struggle a lot when they go out into the world. They don’t want to go out and work under a system where they have to follow rules. No one at work will say, “Hello, dear, what time do you want to come to work, what time do you want a lunch break, and what kind of work do you want to do?” No, they say, “This is your work, this is the time, this is the canteen food. Follow it or get lost; you don’t have a job.” The problem is that today’s children, who grow up with such freedom in the house, don’t want to follow the system. They don’t want to take any responsibility or commitment. They don’t realize the value of loyalty, of coming up in life with hard work for years, and of saving little by little and building wealth. They want a get-rich-quick scheme.

If you ask such kids what they want to become when they grow up, they are very confused. They don’t know. The reason he doesn’t know is because he is postponing responsibility, since responsibility means conformity to a system, whereas his childhood has been one of absolute freedom. “Eat what you want when you want, wear what you want when you want, and your parents will take you anywhere you want to go whenever you want.”

And so, we breed a generation of young people who are irresponsible. Because they grew up in an environment they control and bend, they grow with a dream of thinking the world outside will bend to them. He says after college, they waste 10-20 years to realize the reality that they cannot control the outside system, and by that time, they are 35 or 40, have never developed any talent, and have lived irresponsibly. Whatever earnings they make are spent on costly cars, gadgets, and toys, so they achieve nothing worthwhile.

So he says this is the reason we are facing a new generation that is mostly moody, depressed, discontent, irresponsible, a grumbling generation, sullen, and always complaining. I think he is right in many ways. We may be allowing our families to be run by discontent children who grumble about everything. Nothing is ever enough. I know two families who left a church because their children didn’t like it. Parents know a church is a completely false church, but they go there because their children like that church. See how children control the family.

To make things worse, if they grow up around parents and grandparents who are always grumbling, then the children can become uncontrollably grumbling. Grumbling is very contagious. If parents are grumbling, children become 10 times more grumblers. It is a disease, and it’s not because we don’t have facilities. Grumbling is not just with people who are very poor; actually, the more people have, the more they seem to be discontent with what they have, and the more complaining they seem to be.

So I realize here I am standing before a grumbling generation and want to preach God’s word today, which commands in verse 14: “Do all things without complaining and disputing.” This is God’s call to his saved people. He calls to reverse this trend of a grumbling generation. But sadly, what if, as believers, we are a grumbling people, which is true. So today, I want to show you the sinfulness of grumbling. Unless we see its seriousness, we will not repent and change, and we may be a witness in this generation in no way. I think it is urgent. As we partake in communion today, may God open our eyes and show us how much of this devil’s poison is in us, so that we, just like the Israelites who looked at the serpent on the cross, may look at the cross of Christ and repent and receive grace to live as he commands.

Remember the context, after telling the Philippians to work out their salvation with fear and trembling, the great motivation for that is because God is working in us both to will and to work for his good pleasure (2:12-13). One of the specific practical ways we work out our salvation with fear and trembling is to “do all things,” meaning everything we do, living as Christians, we should do without complaining or disputing. This is a command: make sure you never complain. He gives this command in verse 14 and gives three marvelous reasons why we shouldn’t grumble as believers in verses 15 and 16. Today, we will see the command.

The command comes in the present tense: “be continually doing” without complaining and disputing. What things? The scope is “all things” you do as a Christian. Everything you do in life, you should be careful not to do without complaining and disputing. And now, these two keywords: “without murmurings/grumbling” and “disputing.”

The first word, murmuring, is goggusmos. It’s a grouchy, grumbly, murmuring, an expression of discontent, an expression of dissatisfaction, grumbling, a muttering in a low voice. “Ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh,” you know. It is discontent with a situation or people. It is actually discontent with the providence of God, how God is leading me. This is an attitude, not clearly seen outside; it’s a mumbling, mostly within ourselves. Grumbling may be in your face. It doesn’t stop there; it leads to the next word.

The next word is disputing, which means arguing, questioning, reasoning, and deliberations. I was trying to do a word study. It seems to have two shades, one internally and one externally. It means reasoning mentally, justifying. Think of it: there is a heart of discontent; it is an emotion, and then the mind helps that discontent heart with reasons. The word “reasonings” is used for the “gymnastics of your mind,” meaning the mind bends, turns back, circles forward, and brings all kinds of reasons to justify that discontent. Our Lord said in Matthew 15:19, “out of the heart first comes evil reasonings.” These are the actions of the mind. Our mind is so sharp, under the influence of the deep deception and blindness of the discontent heart, that the mind comes up with various reasonings and justifications for our grumbling. It all seems right to us, but they are evil reasonings.

When the heart is under the influence of unbelief and dissatisfaction, the mind always comes to its help and attempts to give a rational justification for what unbelief and dissatisfaction are dictating. Paul says in Romans that when people are filled with unbelief in God’s providence, their hearts are darkened, and they become vain in their reasonings. Thinking they are wise, they become fools with vain reasonings and justifications.

This internal reasoning, this mind’s hard gymnastics and justification, leads finally to arguing and questioning. The word here is dialogismos. We get “dialogue” from it. It means questionings and criticism. The discontent of the heart now seems like an intellectual debate and seems just. Murmuring is an internal emotional, belly-burning, discontent feeling. Disputing is an intellectual debate that comes out in words, in a dialogue. So your murmuring leads to you disputing with people, you grumble around people, and you criticize God’s providence. You want to argue with God about why things are the way they are—why you’re in a certain circumstance, family, job, financial situation, or residence, whatever it is. You are arguing with God out of discontent, debating with God because you’ve got a better idea. While the first word means to just grumble, to murmur, it’s almost an emotional, internal, guttural kind of thing. The second one is an external expression with intellectual reasons for your discontent. I thought that was very deep. If you didn’t understand, I’m sorry.

Now, to show you the sinfulness of murmuring, what I want to do is give you a meaning for murmuring and then show you how the Bible illustrates that, how Scripture validates this.

Grumbling is a reaction of either whispering or mumbling within ourselves, which leads to arguing with others and with God about a situation. It is a reaction, especially to difficult, pressing circumstances in life that God sovereignly brings us into through his providence. It is not just superficial mumbling; it is a sign of a deep spiritual disease. The outward symptom is seen in grumbling. It has two features.

1. It rises from a heart of unbelief in the providential working of God. It comes from a heart that does not believe in God’s providential purpose and plan. In a simple word, it comes from a heart that truly doesn’t believe how big God is, how sovereign God is. Grumbling is an attack on the attributes of God. That is what grumbling reveals about a person.
2. Secondly, it comes from a person who has never truly realized the depravity of their own heart. We talk and say we are all sinners, but when someone grumbles, it reveals a proud, unhumbled heart, a heart unwilling to submit to God’s providential purpose and plan for their life. Such a proud, blind heart, failing to see its true spiritual need for God to sanctify its heart, thinks everything in life should be the best, and it deserves the best. It deserves all good things in life, and nothing difficult or bad should happen in its life. So whenever there is the slightest difficulty, that proud heart cannot bear it and will inevitably always grumble at adversity. Any difficulty or any need in life will lead to a reaction of grumbling. It shows you have never had a true sense of sin and have not been humbled by your heart. So, first, it shows a heart that has never understood how big God is and has never realized how low and depraved the human heart is.

Such a heart, whatever it may hear or see, no matter how many sermons, even if it may see all the 10 plagues of Egypt, or the power of God dividing a sea in front of its eyes—until the heart deeply believes how big God is and his attributes and sovereignty, and how depraved its own heart is—it will never stop grumbling.

We may think this is a normal, small weakness. The Bible sees it as a terrible, wicked sin, and if we don’t repent and change, continuing in that sin brings terrible consequences. We may justify grumbling with very just reasons. We may say, “I am only grumbling about circumstances, about men, and this and that.” But the God of providence, who puts us in these circumstances and with these people, always sees our grumbling as being against him. Oh, may God help us to see the sinfulness of grumbling today.

So, let me show you from the Bible what I stated earlier. When we hear of murmuring, the number one illustration of grumbling, murmuring people that comes to our mind, is the Israelites. Let me quickly take you through a survey of these people. We all know how God delivered them from Egypt with the amazing 10 plagues and brought them out, promising to take them to the promised land. They all should have reached that blessed land. But something happened on the way. Why did lakhs of men, women, and children—most of them—miss entering the land? Only two of those who left Egypt entered, along with the next generation of children. Their repeated sin was murmuring; they kept repeating it because they thought it was not a big sin, and they faced the very terrible consequences of this sin.

In Exodus 14, we find them out of Egypt, but not yet across the Red Sea. And we read in verse 11: “Then they said to Moses, ‘Because there were no graves in Egypt, have you taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you so dealt with us, to bring us up out of Egypt? Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt, saying, ‘Let us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than that we should die in the wilderness.'”

This is grumbling language. Yes, it was a terrible situation: mountains on both sides, the Red Sea in front of them, and the Egyptians coming to kill them. Yes, it was a very difficult situation, but God saw this as a big sin of unbelief. In this terrible situation, they should have pleaded with God in faith, but see their mocking, murmuring statement: “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you brought us here to die in the wilderness? Why have you brought us here?” What an insulting statement! See their evil reasonings. God saw this as a big sin of unbelief. Why? For two reasons: they didn’t believe who God is and his attributes, and they didn’t realize their need. Because God delivered them with powerful 10 plagues and revealed who he is, he brought them out, and their depraved heart is unbelieving. So for the first time, in his providential wisdom, God puts the squeeze on them in order to teach them valuable lessons of faith. He puts them in a pressured, providential situation to see if they truly believe him and realize their need. What do they reveal? They reveal a heart of unbelief and murmuring.

Okay, God was patient with them and didn’t punish them immediately. Instead, he miraculously opened that big Red Sea in front of their eyes. Can you imagine walking between two walls of water in the deep sea? What an experience! And he brought them to the other side and permanently delivered them from the Egyptians by drowning the entire army in the sea. How they should have trusted God and his ways! What happens next?

On the other side, in the very next chapter, 15:23-24, we read: “Now when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter. Therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people complained against Moses, saying, ‘What shall we drink?'”

With the vivid memory of seeing that wall of water on either side, and passing over on dry ground, they turn back and see the two walls of water close over the entire Egyptian army, and Pharaoh is included. That mighty manifestation of the grace and power of God and his care for them, with that vividly stamped upon their minds, the first thing they do when they face a problem on this side of the Red Sea is they begin to complain. It says they murmured against Moses. They dare not grumble against God, but they blame Moses for their problem. Okay, God gave them water miraculously, so they didn’t forget that; they even named the place Marah. And then there was the manna food.

In the next chapter, 16:1-3, “And they journeyed from Elim, and all the congregation of the children of Israel came to the Wilderness of Sin… Then the whole congregation of the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. And the children of Israel said to them, ‘Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.'”

You see, this is unbelieving complaint about their present circumstances. In Exodus 14, they don’t like difficult providence or a distressing situation. In 15 and 16, it’s discontent with their present providential provisions: water and food. They grumble against Moses. Okay, when they get water and food, at the end of chapter 15, they find 12 springs of water and camp there, with 70 date palms, and they had a feast, and from there they came to Elim. Will they stop grumbling? No. Nothing is ever enough. There is an expansion of that discontent with their present provisions, and they are longing for the pot of boiled flesh that they so enjoyed in Egypt, now saying Egypt is better, with all its bitter bondage. That is not reality. If you take them back to Egypt, they also will grumble. God patiently provides again, sending quail and manna down.

Then in chapter 17, grumbling breaks out in terms of rebellion against their God-constituted leaders. See the language now: “And the people thirsted there for water, and the people complained against Moses, and said, ‘Why is it you have brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?'” Moses said to them, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you test the Lord?” He is the one who has ordained the circumstances. “You are testing him… you cannot justify saying you are only complaining against us.” They were so intense, as if they were grabbing Moses’ shirt, with an attitude that it was the end of his life. See what Moses says in the next verse: “So Moses cried out to the Lord, saying, ‘What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me!'”

This is anger and grumbling against God and his providence. They know more than anyone that God was leading them through all the places. Remember, it was a pillar of cloud, God’s presence, leading them to every place and through every circumstance to build their faith. It was not Moses. This is a direct attack on God, an attack on his wisdom and attributes. They could not catch God with their hands, so they took the next best thing: the servant of God. Their real complaint was with God; their anger was against God. Their rebellious, proud, murmuring heart of unbelief was rising against God and his great providential ways. “Why did you bring us out into this terrible situation?” These people start complaining as soon as they see adversity. They were “complaining of adversity in the hearing of the Lord.”

It kept on going to a point in Numbers 11:1: “Now when the people complained, it displeased the Lord; for the Lord heard it, and His anger was aroused. So the fire of the Lord burned among them, and consumed some in the outskirts of the camp.” God would have burned everyone, but Moses and the people cried out, and God stopped.

Numbers 11:4-6: “Now the mixed multitude who were among them yielded to intense craving; so the children of Israel also wept again and said: ‘Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!'” Numbers 11:18-20: “Then you shall say to the people, ‘Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow, and you shall eat meat; for you have wept in the hearing of the Lord, saying, ‘Who will give us meat to eat? For it was well with us in Egypt.’ Therefore the Lord will give you meat, and you shall eat. You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but for a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you, because you have despised the Lord who is among you, and have wept before Him, saying, ‘Why did we ever come up out of Egypt?'” Numbers 11:32-33: “And the people stayed up all that day, all night, and all the next day, and gathered the quail (he who gathered least gathered ten homers); and they spread them out for themselves all around the camp. But while the meat was still between their teeth, before it was chewed, the wrath of the Lord was aroused against the people, and the Lord struck the people with a very great plague.”

Day after day, this is typical complaining. God keeps on providing. They keep expanding their discontented murmuring: difficulty, no water, no food, and when all is there, they want meat. When they get meat, they say, “Egypt was better.”

Ultimately, in Numbers 13 and 14, they reached the border of the promised land. Think of the land promised to their forefathers, a land flowing with milk and honey, which they had been yearning for for 400 years. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob yearned for it so much, even Joseph said, “Don’t bury me here, take my bones there.” Out of all generations, God chose them to bring them out of Egypt, and they had the opportunity to enter that land. Will they enter? They missed it terribly. Do you know why?

They came to the border and sent 12 spies to spy on the promised land. Those spies came back with an evil report. In their unbelief, they said, “Oh, the land is fortified with walls, and the men there are like giants. We are like grasshoppers before them; we cannot fight.” These 12 men made the whole nation grumble. Grumbling really spreads, and discontent and a critical spirit and complaining attitudes will infect other people. These Israelites were already always grumbling. This report was enough for them. “Oh, we and all our wives and children will die in the wilderness; our bodies will all be scattered in the wilderness. Let us go back to Egypt.”

These 12 spies in their disbelief made the congregation grumble, saying, “We’ll never do it; we can’t defeat them.” Do you know what God did? In Numbers 14:37, “those very men who brought the evil report about the land, died by the plague before the Lord.” Do you know what the Lord thinks of grumblers? He killed them because they spread a brooding discontent against God.

Do you know what he did with all those grumblers? He said, “You are grumbling so much from the beginning; I will allow your grumbling to become true.”

Numbers 14:26-29: “And the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, ‘How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who complain against Me? I have heard the complaints which the children of Israel make against Me. Say to them, ‘As I live,’ says the Lord, ‘just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will do to you: The carcasses of you who have complained against Me shall fall in this wilderness, all of you who were numbered, according to your entire number, from twenty years old and above.'”

God says, “I’ll kill the whole lot of you, and you’ll never enter the promised land,” and he did it. Here were the children of God. They had been led out of Egypt. God had parted the Red Sea for them. They had seen ten miraculous plagues at the point of their deliverance. They lost a great blessing. How? By grumbling. God didn’t allow them to enter; he made them wander in the desert for 40 years until all of that generation died and were buried in the wilderness. Only after everyone had died did he take their children to Canaan. Wow, do you see how seriously God sees grumbling?

Now do you see the point? What sin, above all others, caused this generation to be lost and not enter the promised land? It was the sin of murmuring. It was the sin of discontent with the providence of God expressed in this mumbling and complaining. A summary statement of the history of Israel in Psalm 106:24-26 says: “Then they despised the pleasant land; they did not believe His word, But complained in their tents, and did not heed the voice of the Lord. Therefore He raised His hand in an oath against them, to overthrow them in the wilderness.”

And that’s exactly what he did. In the wilderness, of all their sins, that which is mentioned as precipitating the oath of God that that generation would not enter into the land of promise was the sin of murmuring. Now, do you begin to see and feel something of the tremendous seriousness of murmuring and grumbling, that it is not to be regarded as a minor and innocent human frailty?

Grumbling is a reaction of either whispering or mumbling within ourselves, which leads to arguing with others and with God about a situation. It is a reaction, especially to difficult, pressing circumstances in life that God sovereignly brings us into through his providence. It is not just superficial mumbling; it is a sign of a deep spiritual disease. The outward symptom is seen in grumbling. It has two features.

1. It rises from a heart of unbelief in the providential working of God. It comes from a heart that does not believe in God’s providential purpose and plan. In a simple word, it comes from a heart that truly doesn’t believe how big God is, how sovereign God is, and it is an attack on the attributes of God. That is what grumbling reveals about a person. a. Think of the incidents that we read in Exodus and in the book of Numbers. In every situation, there was the nation in its need and the living God in their midst. The God who was well able to meet that need, but what did their unbelief do? They grumbled. b. Murmuring from unbelief attacks all the attributes of God. It says the circumstances are bigger than God, which is an attack on his omnipotence. Or that the situation is unknown to God, an attack on his omniscience. Or God doesn’t care about my circumstances, an attack on his sympathizing love, mercy, and faithfulness. All of those things are an attack upon the fundamental attributes of God. Overall, it is an attack on even the livingness of God. “If there is a God, why all this?” And that’s what makes it such a wicked thing.
2. Secondly, it comes from a heart that has never truly realized the depravity of its own heart. We talk and say we are all sinners, but when someone grumbles, it shows a proud, unhumbled heart, a heart unwilling to submit to God’s providential purpose and plan for their life. Such a proud, blind heart, failing to see its true spiritual need for God to sanctify its heart, thinks everything in life should be the best, and it deserves the best. It deserves all good things in life, and nothing difficult or bad should happen in my life. So whenever there is the slightest difficulty or need, that proud heart cannot bear it and will inevitably always grumble at adversity. Any difficulty will lead to a reaction of grumbling. It shows you have never had a true sense of sin and have not been humbled in your heart. So, first, it shows a heart that has never understood how big God is, and second, it shows a heart that has never realized how low and depraved the human heart is.

Such a heart, whatever it may hear or see—even if it sees all the ten plagues of Egypt and the power of God dividing a sea right in front of its eyes—will never stop grumbling until it deeply believes how great God is, and understands his attributes and sovereignty, and how depraved its own heart is. Don’t we see that clearly?

It may say, “I am only grumbling about circumstances, about people, about this and that.” It may justify its grumbling with very just reasons. But the God of providence, who puts us in these circumstances and with these people, always sees our grumbling as being against him. Oh, may God help us to see the sinfulness of grumbling today. We may think this is a normal, small weakness. The Bible, however, sees it as a terribly wicked sin, and if we don’t repent and change, continuing in that sin brings terrible consequences. The Israelites faced such terrible consequences.

But you might say, “Oh, that’s all in the Old Testament.” We have come to communion today, so let me read Paul’s warning to New Testament believers from 1 Corinthians 10: “Moreover, brethren, I do not want you to be unaware that all our fathers were under the cloud, all passed through the sea, all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ. But with most of them God was not well pleased, for their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.”

So what?

“Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, ‘The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.’ Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

We may think God takes grumbling lightly now. No. God hates it, and if you want to know how serious it is, he has killed people for it. He didn’t allow his chosen people to enter the promised land, and their bodies weren’t even given a proper burial; they were scattered in the wilderness. He was not pleased. Paul says that what he did to them, slaughtering them in the wilderness, is an example to you in the end of the age of how God feels about the sin of complaining. It is a serious sin.

It is a serious sin in itself that angers God a lot, but it is also the mother of all temptations and sins. Think of all the temptations in our lives; they start with discontent with God’s providence. Eve’s temptation started with discontent with God’s providence; “don’t eat that fruit.” Cain’s temptation to murder started with grumbling that God didn’t accept his worship. You can trace every temptation and sin in your life to this. Your lusts and adulterous thoughts start with discontent about God’s providence. Anger and murderous thoughts start with discontent about a situation. Your covetousness and wrong ways of making money, instead of working hard and asking God to bless you, like Judas, started with grumbling: “Ah, so much perfume was wasted.” You can trace every sin to this sin. The devil, who is roaring like a lion, first injects the poison of grumbling into our hearts and uses it to attack God’s attributes, and then makes us sin. That is why God hates it.

From our side, with blindness to our own depravity, we think we deserve this and that, or we will grumble. But from God’s perspective, God absolutely detests the sin of complaining. Because as a self-sufficient God, seeing from heaven, he says in Lamentations 3:39: “Why should any living mortal or any man offer complaint in view of his sins? Who in the world are you to complain in view of your sins? What do you deserve?” You deserve hell, and so do I.

Just like those people, we need to be trained to live by faith. We need to be sanctified, and so much work is pending. We are so full of pride and unbelief. When God puts us in difficult circumstances and needs on our journey to our promised land, our stupid, proud hearts fail to see that he is leading us with a pillar of fire every step of the way, working all things for our good. But we don’t see that, and we grumble.

So, people, I hope this makes you realize the sinfulness of murmuring. I told you about the negative aspects, but next week, we will see the positive side. Paul gives three absolutely thrilling, wonderful, and practical reasons. He will make it all clear that if we don’t repent from this sin, we can never be a witness for the gospel. We will see that next week.

Here are a few practical applications.

Imagine what would happen if every member in every household in this place this morning took this injunction seriously. Oh, our houses would be heavens of peace.

Husbands, can I apply this to you? God says, “I have placed this woman in your life. My command to you is to love your wife as my son Christ loves the church, who gave himself, his life, blood, his body, his ego, pride, and self-respect, sacrificially to her.” You have to nourish her and cherish her, study her, make her your lifetime project, and live with discernment with her. How are you fulfilling that responsibility? You see your wife’s weakness. “I wish she were more lovable, she is so nagging,” and you get embittered against her. What do you do with God’s command? You grumble and argue with God. “Lord, if you only knew my wife, you would not give this command. She is not as loving; I could have loved any woman, but not her.” Do we realize that is a complaint against the providence of God that brought her to you and not some other woman? God knew all about our wives when he gave that command. You were not very lovable when he loved you. The church is not lovable at all for Christ, yet he loved her. That is the standard.

He nurtures and cherishes us with all of our imperfections. He doesn’t get fed up and say, “Okay, I’m tired of trying to love the likes of you.” Thank God he doesn’t. That’s what some of you husbands are doing. “I’m tired of putting up with this woman,” you say. We have lost patience. Husbands, love your wife, and there is no condition after it. He sees your life, and your duty is clear.

Do it without grumbling, reasoning, or arguing. “Oh, how long?” “I don’t feel like loving her.” “If she was like this, I would love her.” No, no, do your duty as a husband without murmuring or disputing. Right where she is. Right now, with all her imperfections, all her quirks, and all the things about her that irritate and grind your thoughts. Please remember that is how you have to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. All your talk about wanting to be a testimony is a lot of hot air if you don’t be a witness at home. “Why, Pastor, does God keep doing this to me?” God, in his wise providence and with the great goal of marriage, which is to make you like Christ, brought this woman, not someone else. He thought the only way you will mature as Christ is by loving this woman. So, get on with it.

What about you, wives? Wives, be subject to your husband. As the church is subject to Christ, so the wives are to be to their husbands in everything. Some of you are grousing and complaining, grumbling, and rebelling. You have your own rule. You only submit when it is convenient, when you think it is right. That is not submission; that’s just agreement. “I will submit only when he loves me like Christ loves the church.” Those are evil reasonings. The Bible does not say to submit to him only if he meets the standard. Even when he is most unlike Christ, you’re to submit to him unless he tells you to do something against God’s word. But even so, wives, be subject to your husbands in everything. Now, that’s the word of God. Do it without grumbling and disputing.

What about your children? It says, “children, obey your parents.” Are you obeying only when it’s convenient? “Oh, my parents, they’re so unreasonable. They don’t understand.” See your evil reasonings, like the Israelites: “God doesn’t know about my circumstances. If he did, he would treat me differently. And if God knew what my mom and dad expect, he never would have said, ‘children, obey your parents.'” But he knows all about it, and he says, “Okay, obey your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. Honor your father and your mother, children; children do all things without murmurings and disputing.” It is God’s good and wise providence that has put such parents over you. He is molding you for a great purpose under such parents. He knows everything they do to you. That is the process of preparing you for his great purpose, so obey him. He promises to bless you with a wonderful life.

“Yes, Pastor, I submit. What choice do I have? Some children, until they are 18, feel like it’s their fate.” God sees that as a horrible sin. That is not submission; that is a terrible, arrogant sin. It is not enough that you do what you are told because you have no choice. That will only bring God’s punishment. You want God’s blessing? Do it the way God says you’re supposed to do it: cheerfully, without murmurings, without disputing things. That doesn’t mean that there may not be struggles.

What about the workplace? We will see in the next verse that you cannot be a witness for the gospel without obeying this command. This is a powerful witness for the gospel in the outside world. How do we work? Are we always grumbling and complaining? Paul will say you will shine as a light in the crooked world if you do everything without grumbling and disputing.

As we partake in communion, I hope God has shown you the sin. Two steps for the preparation of our hearts personally: First step: Through the coming week, make a note of every time you complain. Would you do that? And just make a note every time, and you will find that for many of you, it is a way of life. It is how you live every day. You may find it so utterly habitual that you probably don’t even realize what a dominant characteristic it is. You may see so much of it that it may seem overwhelming, and you might think, “Oh God, I don’t think I will ever be able to overcome this sin.” Two steps.

Then, the first thing is to remember what a horrible sin it is. God sent serpents into the Israelites’ lives in Numbers 21 when they grumbled again. In the same way, God may be sending chastisements into our lives for this sin. May we realize this sin, this poison in us, and look to the cross and ask him to forgive us for all our grumbling as we partake in the Lord’s Supper. He died on the cross and bore all this sin in his body. What a joy. Not only that, he purchased sanctification for us to be delivered from that sin. His cross has all the grace for us to overcome this sin.

Second, never give room to the devilish and deceptive heart’s suggestion: “Did he really say you should not grumble? Come on, no one can live like that.” In a way, no ordinary man can live like that, but remember the context from the verse. It is only a believer who is conscious that when he is working out his salvation with fear and trembling, his God is working to will and to do all that is his good pleasure. This will push you to live with the consciousness that in every circumstance, in every distress we face, in every need we face, in every disappointment, every traffic jam, every missed bus or flight—I missed a flight last month to Mumbai—we need to realize that our sovereign God is working to will and to do all his good pleasure in us. It is only that consciousness of God’s work that will enable us by the Holy Spirit to live like this.

You don’t complain about what God calls you to do, or about the circumstances in which he asks you to do it. Realize that God has placed you in that circumstance; it is God who has brought these people into my life, and he is working to will and to do all his good pleasure in all these situations and with these people. I will not give room to the emotional rejection of God’s providential purpose and will and grumble, and then justify that with rational reasonings.