Grace Reformed Baptist Church, Bangalore

Philippians 2:25-30: “25 Yet I considered it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker, and fellow soldier, but your messenger and the one who ministered to my need; 26 since he was longing for you all, and was distressed because you had heard that he was sick. 27 For indeed he was sick almost unto death; but God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. 28 Therefore I sent him the more eagerly, that when you see him again you may rejoice, and I may be less sorrowful. 29 Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem; 30 because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me.”

There was a wanted advertisement for a missionary job. The ad said, “We want a true man for this work,” and it included 1 Corinthians 16:13, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, courageously, be strong.” What is a real man? When I say “man” or “manliness,” I mean bold character. Our advertising and movie world shows a man as someone with a costly, latest-fashion outfit, the latest expensive car, a macho body, six-pack abs, attractive perfume, and sunglasses, surrounded by a crowd of friends. He comes with a cigarette in his mouth, puffing with style, and he makes all the young girls turn their necks to see him and say, “Wow, what a man!” All the immature boys and girls assume, “Oh, this is a true man.” Then a girl, seeing all this outward show, meltingly falls for him and marries him, only to realize he has no drop of character but is a selfish, proud monster. She then runs to get a divorce as soon as possible. Is he a real man? The world brainwashes people into thinking this is “the man” because he can be a great advertisement for a dress, car, cigarette, or perfume.

Are you brainwashed by the crooked world? Heroes and friends have the most powerful impact on our lives. Who are your heroes—the people you look to as role models? Tell me your heroes, and I’ll tell you your values. Tell me your friends, and I will tell you what kind of person you are. All of us tend to become like the people we associate with. If your friends are selfish and cheap, we will become like them. If you hang around complainers, pretty soon you’ll start to complain. But if your friends are noble, their nobility will make you noble too. We have been going through the book of Philippians verse by verse. Paul has already become our friend for some time; now he is introducing us to two more noble friends. We met Timothy last week, who is an apostolic model. In today’s passage, we meet another man called Epaphroditus. The Holy Spirit sets these men before us so they can become our heroes and friends.

After reading what Paul says about this person, I felt like, “Wow, what a man!” In fact, Paul himself ends the passage by saying this man is worthy of every respect. Manhood is something God created. God wants us to be a man, and here he shows a true man in God’s estimation. Let us learn from him how to be a true, real, biblical man.

We know the context: when Paul was put in prison in Rome, he was in a difficult and lonely situation, both physically and emotionally. Paul never took money from anyone for ministry, but now that he is in prison, he has needs. The worried Philippian church sent this man Epaphroditus with some gifts for Paul’s needs. We don’t know his position; he may not even be a pastor, or maybe a deacon or just a member. He comes and supports Paul in his difficult time. When he is there, he becomes severely sick; maybe everyone thought he might even die. But by God’s grace, he recovers. The Philippians hear that he is sick and become sad, so Paul is saying, “I am going to send him to you.”

In verses 25-30, everything that is said about him breaks down into three categories. First is a description of the man Epaphroditus, in verse 25. Then we have the reasons for his being sent back to Philippi in verses 26 to 28. And thirdly, in verses 29 and 30, we have the manner in which he should be received by the Philippians. That is what we are going to study.

Do not believe that telling our own stories and jokes is a sermon from God. God speaks to us through His word, so we focus on explaining verse by verse what the Bible says. This is called an “expository sermon” because that is how God speaks to us, not by just using the Bible as an occasional reference and entertaining people with our own stories and jokes. So open your Bible, and we will help you understand it. The Holy Spirit will speak to your conscience, “This is God’s word for you.” I was telling someone, “It’s no use trying to prove in 101 ways that the Bible is God’s word. Just open the door and teach the Bible verse. Let the lion out; it will do its work and convince every open mind that they are hearing God’s word.”

Today, let me introduce you to this man in verse 25. We saw how the Holy Spirit presented Timothy as an apostolic model last week with the C.S.C.S.U. acronym: caring, single-minded, consistent character, sacrificial service, and useful. Here is another model the Holy Spirit puts before us as a Christian man, a character we must study deeply and follow.

Philippians 2:25: “Yet I considered it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker, and fellow soldier, but your messenger and the one who ministered to my need.”

Paul outlines the qualities he most appreciates in Epaphroditus. Paul says five things about this man. These five things can be divided into two categories: in verse 25, Paul’s relationship with Epaphroditus (“my brother, fellow worker, and fellow soldier”) and Epaphroditus’s relationship to the Philippian church (“your messenger and minister with respect to my need”). Again, this is not a great acronym, just a memory aid: B.W.S. M.M. (“Brother, Worker, Soldier, Messenger, Minister”). If you go home and someone asks what you studied about Epaphroditus today in church, you can say, “B.W.S. M.M.”

Brother

First, the B. Paul says, “in relationship to me, Epaphroditus my brother.” Timothy was my son; Epaphroditus was my brother. We all know this word is a family word, a brother is someone who has the same parents as me, a unique, intimate family relationship. Nowadays, it is a very commonly used phrase, “Hey bro.” But when the Apostle Paul says “my brother,” it’s not a casual “hey bro.” There is amazing depth here. The name Epaphroditus is taken from the name of one of the Greek goddesses, the goddess of love, lust, and sex, Aphrodite. A beautiful naked goddess with a big temple full of prostitutes. Epaphroditus, coming from the pagan culture of Philippi, probably had parents who worshiped the goddess Aphrodite, and maybe he was born praying to this goddess and was named after her. He was a Gentile by birth and was brought up in the midst of pagan worship, and he could have lived in that filthy Roman lifestyle of lust and luxury. He could have heard the Gospel through someone in the Philippian church and became a believer and grew in the church.

But if you read the New Testament, you know what hatred the Jews had for the Gentiles, especially how they shamed their body with a lifestyle of lust. Because of their sinful lifestyles, circumcised Jews would call them “Gentile dogs,” living only for bodily pleasures with no law or principle. Even an ordinary Jew would not go to an idol-worshiping Gentile’s house, not eat, and not touch them. They were thought to be unclean. Remember Peter, as an ordinary Jew, had to struggle so much in Acts to go to a Gentile’s house and preach the Gospel. Paul was not just an ordinary Jew; he was a member of the strictest, most extremist sect of the Jews, a “Pharisee of Pharisees.” He would never even see a Gentile face-to-face.

Now, with all his Pharisee pride and all his prejudice, as soon as he heard the name Epaphroditus, the name of a dirty goddess, every nerve in his body would feel hate and shame, and his blood may boil. The last word Paul would never use about this pagan man would be “brother.” Pharisees would only call a fellow Pharisee “brother.” They would never use it for a Gentile, not even for other Jews who were common people. What a wonder! Here, this Pharisee of Pharisees, the first word he uses for this Gentile convert Epaphroditus, he calls him brother. It’s not just “brother” in the general abstract but he says “my brother.” The intensity in the original is not just a casual “hello brother,” no matter how much hatred we have. It is full of affectionate feelings, a very personal sense of brotherhood. On the other side, we also know that Roman Gentiles like Epaphroditus always hated Jews. Both cultures were big enemies.

What changed these two enemies into intimate brothers? It was the power of the Gospel. From the time man fell into sin and was separated from God, man has always been separating and lifting himself from other men by caste, color, language, nation, and principles. That is what you see everywhere. But when the Gospel brings a man back to God, whether Jew or Gentile, Hindu or Muslim, it makes them realize they are all hell-deserving depraved sinners under God’s wrath, and they see what the Son of God, Jesus, has done on the cross as an atoning sacrifice, bearing their sins. When they believe in Jesus’ work, they all become children of God with a new heart, and this also brings hating, divided men together. The Gospel levels everyone as creatures of God, breaks all these man-made barriers and enmity, and makes them brothers. In Christ, there is no Jew or Greek, Hindu or Muslim; we are all children of God.

Our country today, from big political leaders to small streets and even small children, is all divided in the name of caste and religion. How much hatred is filled? It is a venomous, bitter-filled, and vitriolic hatred, even in the hearts of children from birth. I remember being brought up and told that we were “Kamavar Naidu” and others were “Malalu,” not to even touch or marry them, and only to eat in our caste. It was put in my mind so much that it was so difficult for me after becoming a Christian to go and eat in other people’s houses. Every village and city is filled with this. We see before our eyes how politicians have used this hatred and deceived the whole nation for ten years.

Do you see that the great need of our country is not only a new government but the Gospel, which alone can not only unite us as brothers but can even make what we think are enemy countries, like Pakistan and China, become brothers and help each other to prosper? Who has to show the power of the Gospel to a divided, hate-filled world? We, as His church, are called for this—to live a life worthy of the Gospel. We have to show the world that we are men and women of diverse backgrounds, racially, culturally, educationally, and with differing religious perspectives, yet the Gospel has united us as brothers. We should love to call one another “brother” and “sister” not just in name but truly because God has made us brothers and sisters in Christ. We have one Father; we are His children. We have to be united with one mind and one heart. Do you see what a great calling you and I have in this community to be a united church? How we need to invest time and energy to become truly brothers and sisters in Christ? In a divided world, the church needs to stand as the tallest statue of unity, a source of amazement. Do you see how these examples emphasize what Paul taught earlier about unity, having the same mind and love? Here, we see Paul and Epaphroditus, who would naturally have been worlds apart, yet Paul says, “he is my brother.”

Man, fallen in sin and losing the glory of his God-created manhood, with a proud heart, tries to find his manliness by lifting himself above others by caste, language, color, and culture. He sets himself above others by thinking, “I am something special because I have more money, a better color, and more education.” Is this a real man? Are you like that? You cannot become a real man until you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and have a salvation experience. Otherwise, you will always try to think that manhood is trying to lift yourself above others. What is a salvation experience? Last week, some people were sharing theirs. It is an experience where you realize you are a sinner before God, truly feel the sin in your heart, grieve for it, and then believe from your heart that Jesus bore your sins as an atoning sacrifice on the cross. When you believe, divine peace and joy fill your heart. You receive a new heart; that is a salvation experience.

When you go to places, especially among God’s people, regardless of their culture, color, or nation, do you live with people in such a way that they can call you “brother”? A true man does not keep thinking, “I am bigger than all,” but will develop relational and social skills to live as a brother with people.

Worker

Secondly, the W. Paul’s second word to call Epaphroditus is “my fellow worker.” Paul often used this word to describe the husband and wife, Priscilla and Aquila, as “my fellow workers in Christ Jesus” in Romans 16:3. “Worker” is a word for a laborer. The work of the ministry involves hard, arduous labor. This also tells us that Epaphroditus didn’t just bring the gifts to Paul and then say, “I finished my assigned work” and go on a Rome tour and relax. He came with gifts and joined the ministry work with Paul in prison, helping Paul in the spread of the Gospel. In chapter 1, Paul said, “all in Rome, including those in Caesar’s palace, heard the Gospel.” How? Maybe Epaphroditus worked and preached with Paul in prison, went outside on Paul’s behalf to preach the Gospel to some, and joined others in Rome to preach the Gospel. He must have worked very, very hard for Paul to say this.

This is a great honor. Can you imagine the intense labor and efforts of Paul? Only those who work equally to us can be called “fellow workers.” If the great Apostle Paul had to call someone a “fellow worker,” he must have seen Epaphroditus working so intensely hard, with maximum effort, and with the same zeal and passion that Paul had for the spread of the Gospel. When he saw Epaphroditus’s work, he could think of no other term to describe his activity than that of a fellow or co-worker with him there. He is equal to me in the ministry work. He shares my burden and zeal to spread that truth, and so he calls him his living companion in labor. Epaphroditus didn’t care about personal credit; he worked alongside Paul. The American President Ronald Reagan had a slogan prominently displayed on his desk at the White House that read, “There is no limit to how far a man can go if he doesn’t care who gets the credit.” Epaphroditus worked like that.

Our Lord, when He saw the large crowd and was melted with compassion, He said the harvest was plentiful, but He didn’t say speakers, singers, or entertainers were few. He said the laborers were few. Today in Christianity, we have a lot of speakers and showmen. The majority of church-going people are just spectators. Where are the laborers for the Gospel? Anyone who has done anything for the Gospel did it through intense labor. You see, the Gospel not only makes divided men brothers but binds them together with a common goal and calls them for intense labor for the spread of truth. Epaphroditus was such an intense laborer that, beyond his work of bringing gifts, he labored with Paul so much that Paul gives him the high honor of “fellow worker.” Our church will not progress unless each of us goes beyond being spectators and rises up as laborers.

Who is a man? When God created man, the first thing He told him was to work hard and tend the garden. The sanctity of labor was established before sin. Manliness is in hard work. A true man is not a lazy guy who dresses up nicely and puts on a show. A true man is someone who works hard. Girls, when you are looking for a man, see if he is a truly hard-working man or if he is not a man. Second Thessalonians 3 says that if anyone doesn’t work hard, we should put him under church discipline. “If any man will not work, let him not eat.” Moms, take note: if your children do not do any work at home or do hard work in their studies, they should not get food. God has placed every man and given him a sphere of responsibility, and whatever his hand finds to do, he must do it with all his might as unto the Lord and not as unto men. The Bible repeatedly says God blesses a hard-working man. The world says a true man is someone who avoids doing mundane work and instead smartly cheats others, makes money, and lives a lazy lifestyle. A true man can be seen in his faithfulness to simply stick to one’s task without any glamour, just like this Epaphroditus, who was called a “fellow laborer.”

Soldier

Thirdly, the S. He calls him his “fellow soldier,” his comrade in arms. Now, why did the apostle use this term, “my fellow soldier”? They are not in the Roman army. Scripture shows that the Christian life is generally called a life of warfare, and every believer is likened to a soldier. But in a peculiar way, the work of the ministry is an intense spiritual warfare. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

Very vigorous military terminology is used. Ministry is like a spiritual war; we don’t use carnal weapons, swords, knives, guns, bullets, bombs, and missiles. But they are the spiritual weapons of God’s word, the preaching of God’s word, and prayer. Whom are we fighting? Who are our enemies? We are fighting against the ignorance of men. Fallen men are basically ignorant. The Bible calls living in ignorance living in darkness. They do not know God’s truth, His word, or who God is. In our ministries, in our weekly meetings, we fight against men’s ignorance about themselves and about God. We fight against men’s prejudice, their prejudice towards God, and their prejudice towards truth. We fight errors, false teaching, traditional, man-made false religion, and philosophy. We fight against man’s proud self-righteousness that makes them think they are good, refusing to see their great need as sinners and what Christ has done for such sinners. They have never had a salvation experience but are deceiving their hearts into thinking they are God’s children and going to heaven. The enemies are ignorance, false teaching, error, prejudice, and pride. Paul says God has given us spiritual weapons to fight this war, weapons “mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

This is not an easy war. It is such an intense war of truth. This is the war of ministry; many of us don’t even know anything about this warfare. Paul says that in this war, Epaphroditus has proven himself a fellow soldier. There are some soldiers in name and uniform only who never do any war, but Epaphroditus is a real soldier. The blood of a soldier runs in his body.

Who is a true soldier? One who fights for his nation or principle and is so committed to that, he is willing to even risk his life. When he hears the sound of an attack, guns, and bombs, a soldier is someone with adrenaline pumping in his nerves, with hot blood rushing into the battle. Why? How can he do that? He is willing to give his life to defend his country and to destroy the enemy. If a man hears a bomb sound and runs and hides in a foxhole and faints, is he a soldier? Paul was such a bold soldier; he ran into many battles, and he sees Epaphroditus, when an attack comes, not as a coward running but as someone rushing into the battle just as intensely as Paul. Paul calls him his “fellow soldier.” The word was used on some special occasion to honor a soldier. Usually, a common soldier was honored with that title when he boldly fights. The goal was to make the soldier equal to the commander-in-chief. “By your fighting, you have ranked with those who are the strategic people in the war; you are a leader now.” It is a great term of honor: “my fellow commander-in-chief, my fellow soldier, who is willing to risk his life for the Gospel.”

If he didn’t see that commitment in Epaphroditus, Paul would never call him a “fellow soldier.” Read verse 30, and you will understand why he calls him like this. Look at the language he uses: “because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life.” This is a true soldier. He was willing to stake his very life for the work of Christ. He had that same spirit as the Apostle Paul that regarded the service of Christ as of supreme importance, sparing no name, reputation, personal plans and ambition, or even life. These things meant nothing. One thing mattered: the glory of Christ, the cause of the truth, and the triumphs of the Lord Jesus Christ in this conflict with the enemies of truth.

Are we soldiers of Christ? Are we just wearing the uniform in name? What risks are we taking for Christ and the Gospel? Look at this man. God has called us to be men. First Corinthians 16:13 says to be brave and be a man. To be a soldier. The Kingdom of God can grow only with such soldiers, not with uniformed soldiers who run to their holes as soon as they hear a bomb sound. These are the real men according to God, who stand with a spine for truth.

So B.W.S.—brother, fellow worker, soldier—these are wonderful titles of honor. Notice that all of them are not because Epaphroditus achieved something alone. All of them indicate that he was a man of cooperation. He was a man who worked with others without seeking a selfish name and without competition. The Kingdom of God needs such men. As a man, he had such relational social skills that he truly became a beloved brother to Paul and a brother to the Philippian church. Secondly, he had tremendous hard-working skills so that he was seen to be one who worked right alongside Paul at his own level. And thirdly, he was such a brave, committed man that he is called a great soldier who did not flee in the face of great difficulty and opposition. This is a biblical man, a real man. He is not full of vain pride, thinking he is someone big, but lives as a brother with others, works hard, and stands boldly for truth. Men, let us examine our relationships, our hard work, and our commitment in the face of opposition.

Now, for M.M. Fourthly, with respect to his relationship with the Philippians, verse 25 says, “but your messenger.” The word “messenger” refers to one who is commissioned and sent out as a representative, a delegate, or an envoy. He was officially chosen and designated by the church at Philippi for this work. Imagine that nothing was more important for the Philippians than to support their beloved apostles at this time, and when they looked at all the men who could be chosen and who could be a faithful messenger, they chose Epaphroditus. The original word Paul uses is “apostle,” not a unique Apostle, but as a representative apostle of the Philippian church. That says a lot about the man’s character.

Fifthly, he was not only chosen as a messenger but a minister to Paul’s need. He was the messenger and minister of the Philippians. For my need, and what was Paul’s need? Yes, it seems his need was material, so they sent some gifts. But he had greater needs than that. Paul speaks of his loneliness in another epistle; he needed encouragement and comfort. So Paul needed someone like-minded at this difficult time, someone who could feel, empathize, and sympathize with the great concerns of his great heart, which beat so passionately. Paul here certifies that Epaphroditus wonderfully fulfilled his needs.

The word “minister” is the same word, “Leitourgon.” It is a sacred term from which we get the word “liturgy.” Paul used it in a previous section as “priestly ministry,” a “sweet-smelling offering acceptable to God.” Paul says his ministry to me on your behalf was a sacred, priestly service pleasing to God. It was sacrificial service, taking the risk of long travel at great personal expense, leaving his home, his family, his friends, his livelihood, and whatever else, and literally putting his life on the line to benefit the Apostle Paul. So he says he is “your minister who took care of my needs.” What an honor for this man, a messenger and minister of the Philippian church!

As a close application, I want to point out three things that would have made Epaphroditus the messenger and minister of the Philippians. We saw B.W.S. Now here are three more things that make a true man. How did he become a messenger and minister? If we, as the church, want to send someone as our representative or minister to someone, what should we look for? Three things.

First, this was a man who submitted to authority. In the early church, the work of ministry was not primarily a voluntary, freelance kind of thing, with every man doing what his spiritual impulses told him to do. There is a structure of authority taught in the word of God. Christ is the ultimate head, King, and Lord of His church, and He has deposited the keys of discipline and authority in His church government. When the church saw who should be sent for this work, they found Epaphroditus to be the most eligible messenger and minister with all the skills, and they told him to go. Epaphroditus had learned submission to church leadership, and so he went.

It tells us some important things about a true man. You see, a true man is a man who’s learned how to submit to God-ordained authority. Epaphroditus knew he was subject to the government and oversight of his church. They chose him and said, “Go,” and he came. Now he is under Paul’s authority. Paul says, “I judged it necessary to send him,” and there is no indication that Epaphroditus debated with him. He submitted to authority.

Last Friday, I was teaching that we are created under the sovereign authority of God, and He commands us, and we are to obey Him. All sin started when we rebelled against that authority and wanted to do whatever we liked. To neglect or reject His command is to defy the awesome, sovereign authority of God Himself. If you read our confession of faith’s flow of truth, it shows how big God is, how sinful we are, what God has done to redeem us, what a true salvation experience is (being born again, justification, adoption), and then how we show we are truly redeemed people. We come back to submit to God-ordained authority in the government, the church, the family, marriage, and regulative worship.

God has ordained structures of authority over us. The government is one authority, the church is an authority, and the family, with a husband and parents, is an authority. He commands us to submit to that. To reject that authority is to reject the authority of God. God, as a God of providence, says that everything in your life is cursed or blessed depending on how you treat the authority of God’s word.

Who is a true man? Today, men who reject God-ordained authority are shown as real men. You have not learned what it is to be a true man until you have learned to accept the structures of God’s authority over you. Children sitting here, I hear parents complaining that their children are becoming disobedient. Do you know you are not just disobedient to your parents but to God-ordained authority? You want to be a true, biblical, God-pleasing man; learn how to embrace from the heart the government of your father and your mother. Don’t tolerate it as a necessary evil. Embrace it as a wonderful blessing from God. It is through them that He is preparing you for the great purpose for which He has created you. Do you know that the discipline of parents is an expression of God’s love for you?

Hebrews 12 states that the tragedy of wrongly born, illegitimate children is that they have no father who will care for them enough to discipline them. If you are without discipline, does that mean you are an illegitimate child that no man is willing to come forward and claim as his own? Therefore, a child left without discipline is left under the curse of being an illegitimate child. The worst curse God can give you is to allow you to do all that your sinful heart desires. Now, is that what some of you want—the curse of being an illegitimate child—just to do whatever you want without your parents’ discipline? Just like Eli’s son, God allowed them to do what they wanted. Even when their father rebuked them, God didn’t allow them to change because He had decided to destroy them.

It is a great, great mercy that God has put parents to discipline and control you. You should be very scared when your parents don’t discipline you; it is a sign God has decided to destroy you. Your true manhood will develop when you learn to submit to God-given authority at home. No true leader or achiever in history was ever known who didn’t learn to submit to authority. Epaphroditus was selected because, firstly, he was a man who learned to submit to authority. Church members, have you learned to submit to spiritual authority? Some of you still haven’t. Can’t you see that so many of your troubles are because of this rejection of God’s ordained authority?

Secondly, why did the Philippian church select him as their messenger and minister for this important work? Each of us should ask, “Would the church select me for such an important task as their representative and minister?” I think, secondly, Epaphroditus was a man who earned credibility. He was a trustworthy man entrusted with a dangerous and important mission. How did he earn credibility? How can any of us earn credibility? By always being faithful for years, again and again, in lesser responsibilities. As our Lord said, “He who is faithful in the little things will be given big things.” The church recognized him as a man worthy of being entrusted with this great responsibility of being the bearer of their gifts to the apostle and ministering to his needs. If we give something to him, he will do it with all his heart, strength, and in the best way possible. Do we have such men among us? People are hearing about our church; can we send this man as our representative and minister?

What does it mean to be a man? It doesn’t mean that you learn how to manipulate with your mouth and pretend to people that you are something you are not. It’s not about skillfully talking and cheating people, making them believe wrong things about you. No. If you want to be a true, biblical man, you have to earn the credibility of being trustworthy. Men, are you like that? If we give something to you, will you do it to the best of your ability? How frustrating it is to give someone something and have to keep reminding them again and again? When will we grow?

Today, the focus is on children. Are you earning credibility at home? I tell my daughter the story of crying wolf, where when the wolf really came, no one believed the boy. I was telling my daughter, “If you always complain of a stomach ache to avoid studying or tuition, when you really have a stomach ache, nobody will believe you.” Have you earned credibility so that when your parents say something, it will be true? Do you have that credibility?

When your mother tells you to go and dry the clothes, don’t just throw them here and there. No, you put them all neatly and put a clip on all of them, and you have gained credibility. When you take a mobile phone and say you will watch an educational video, but you watch Instagram and waste time, you lose credibility. When you ask again, they may not trust you. When they tell you to take out the garbage or sweep the house, it only takes one minute of extra time to do it so neatly and not dump even a little bit of it outside the garbage bin. Your parents see you do the job thoroughly, and you’re worthy of that trust. You’re gaining some credibility with your mom and dad in small things, and you can be trusted with bigger things. You may say that is ridiculous. Believe me, that is the only way God blesses and raises you in life. God always tests us in small things.

In Gideon’s time, there was a great danger, a war against a large army. Thirty thousand men came. How did God choose the best ones through whom He would give victory? They were thinking He would choose men who had great bodies and knew how to wield a sword and throw a javelin far and accurately. God chose them by making them drink water from a river. Yes, those who knelt and drank water from the river were rejected. Those who stood, took water in their hands, and lapped like a dog were selected. Why? They were all very thirsty. Many saw the water and forgot for a moment that they were soldiers and were in a war. They became totally preoccupied with bending their knees, putting their faces in the river, and refreshing themselves in the water and acting as though there was no danger. They were disqualified. But those who stood and took water in their hands and lapped it like dogs were true soldiers because their actions showed that they did not forget they were in the midst of danger. You see, it was their actions in the little things that were an index of their true character. He who is faithful in small things. Epaphroditus was a man who had learned to submit to authority, a man who had earned credibility by being faithful in small things. He had earned credibility through the accumulation of a pattern of faithfulness.

Thirdly, the reason they sent him was because he had a tremendous sensitivity to people. We have to be sensitive. We will see that in detail next week. After coming to Paul, he falls sick, so seriously sick he could have even died, but he gets well. Paul says, “I’m sending him back.” Why? “Because he was longing for you all, and was distressed because you had heard that he was sick.” He was so upset that they were upset that he was on the verge of distraction. That’s exactly what he says in verse 26. He was “distressed,” “sore troubled,” which means he came to the point of insanity. Mental distraction because they had heard that he was sick.

What an amazing statement. This strong brother, worker, and soldier is so sensitive to people that when he hears that the Philippians are upset that he’s sick, he gets heartsick, thinking about how they must be feeling. He’s no longer sick, and he wants them to know what his true condition is.

This is the top trait for a true man. A true man will be an empathetic man. It is a trait where you have the ability to get into another person’s skin and feel as he feels and see as he sees. That’s the measure of a man.

A true biblical man is not a macho, big-chested, misogynist, wooden, or vegetable-like person without any sensitivity. He does not speak whatever comes to his dirty mind without any sense of how it will affect others. He has no care for women’s feelings and treats them like playthings. A man who is addicted to all these obscene videos and sees women as objects of his lust and nothing else is not a man but a monster. God, in fact, calls them “brute beasts.” A man without empathy and no sensitivity is nothing but a monster.

A true biblical man is someone who has developed enough sensitivity to think about how his words and actions will affect others. He knows God has created him with a strong body to respect, protect, and guard the chastity of a weak woman, not to violate it. That’s a man.

All men here, young and old, learn this trait of a biblical man who develops the ability to get into others’ skin and realize how they may feel. Do you have empathy?

Children, rebellious children, do you have empathy toward your parents? One day, you will be parents, and the way you treat your parents, your children will treat you. Jacob cheated his blind father and took Esau’s blessing, and later his own sons cheated him and sold his beloved son and told him he was killed by an animal.

Think about how you would feel when you become a father and mother one day, and you work so hard day and night so that your children study well and become something in life and glorify God and bring honor to you. But you see they are wasting their time, always on their mobile phones, wasting your money, spoiling your name in school, the neighborhood, and at home, and don’t even listen to you. How will you feel? How frustrated will you feel, thinking, “I am doing so much, living for my children, but how they treat me!” Get the ability to get into the skin of your parents and seek to feel what they feel, and realize how they may feel when you speak those bitter and disrespectful sharp words. Until you have learned to do that, you are nothing but a brute monster in the form of a man.

Men, should I tell you how important this is in marriage? Oh, what a man we can be if we can just learn this from Epaphroditus—to get into the skin of our wives and feel what they feel. How different our words and actions will be. Learn to practice this. Until you do this, you are not a true man in God’s eyes.

What a man! B.W.S.—the great Apostle Paul gives him five great medals: “My brother, my fellow worker, and my soldier.” The Philippian church selected him as a messenger and minister. He was a man who submitted to authority, earned credibility, and was empathetic toward people. This is a true man. Are you like this? Paul says he did it so perfectly that it would be a priestly, sacred service, well-pleasing in God’s sight. Let us be a man like Epaphroditus.

Oh, Pastor, all this is a high standard. We will listen and go. Let me encourage you. The God of Epaphroditus is our God. If God can take a man from a pagan idol-worshiping home by the horrible name of Aphrodite, the goddess of sex, and make him a man like this, He can do the same with us, wherever we are. The wonder is that the same seed of grace that was planted in Epaphroditus was planted in you and me. God doesn’t plant any seeds of grace that He won’t cultivate and make bear fruit. God is showing us this man as a model because His grace is working in us to make us like him.

This kind of man does not come from culture or education but by grace. There is a fullness of grace in Jesus Christ to raise a man from any filthy gutter of an irresponsible, self-centered life to a man like this.

Yes, the grace of God is working, and that has to encourage us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Let us remember and practice what we have learned. It will not happen in one week. Producing a Christian character takes time and effort. Here’s a simple equation: T + D = G. T = Time, D = Discipline, and G = Growth. This formula works in every area of life, whether it be weightlifting, playing the piano, or growing into a true Christian man. May God raise up an army of Epaphrodituses in our church who are true Christian men, who can be true brothers, workers, soldiers, messengers, and ministers.