Matthew 16;24-28 24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. 25 For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds. 28 “Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.”
In today’s passage, we will look at what true Christianity is. All of us are products of our times; the times we live and current trends influence us. Much of today’s Christianity is self-centered, with a goal of self-satisfaction. Many call themselves Christians, but their whole perspective toward it is that they are in it for what they can get out of it. Christianity has somehow been twisted to make a religion as to “what I can get from Jesus”… like the Aladdin lamp, you rub, and ask, then this powerful Jesus will come and fulfill your wish. Mainly the Pentecostal movement says that Jesus is here to make you healthy, wealthy, and happy. And even the evangelicals through the years have been guilty of propagating a Jesus who is offered to men as a panacea (a solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases) for everything. “Wouldn’t you like to be happy? Wouldn’t you like to have an abundant fulfilled life? Wouldn’t you like to know peace? Wouldn’t you like all your problems solved? Buy Jesus…” This is marketing for selling Jesus and his offers to people.
On one side, it is true, Jesus blesses us in this life and with eternal blessings when we become his children. We receive all from him. But the important part of repentance is we don’t come to Jesus for selfish reasons… but true repentance is turning from self to Christ. If that doesn’t happen, very shockingly the Lord says in this passage you cannot be saved. Yes, in Jesus’ way, there is glory, but suffering comes before that. Yes, there is a crown, but before that, the cross comes. There is sacrifice before the reward. Obedience before blessing. And I believe that’s what our Lord is teaching us in this critical passage. We are called to win by losing; that’s the heart of discipleship.
The whole passage flows logically step by step… Peter’s confession that “you are Christ, the Son of the living God,” in verse 16. In verse 18, the Lord says he will build the church with men and women who make such a confession. In verse 21, then he reveals how he will accomplish his Messianic work and build his church, by clearly and openly saying go to Jerusalem, suffer many things, and be killed, and rise again on the third day.
Now in verses 24-28, He reveals who will participate and fully enjoy the benefits of the salvation secured by the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Who are my true disciples? In these words are some of the most vital, searching, and examining words of Lord Jesus.
Verses 24-28 have two broad headings:
- Non-negotiable discipleship conditions – 3 acts: Deny himself, take up the cross, and follow me. You cannot negotiate this; you cannot adjust this. Either you come like this or you are not a disciple of Christ. We will see that in verse 24.
- Then verses 25-27 give 4 solemn, powerful reasons why every man and woman should fulfill these conditions and become a true disciple. You see verses 25, 26, 27, starting with “for, for, for.” In other words, after hearing these conditions if you say: “deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me… ah, this is so difficult, who can follow this,” and you go. He says before going out from me, understand these 4 reasons. Anyone who deeply grasps these 4 powerful, infinite wisdom-filled, ageless reasons, he will gladly deny himself, take up the cross, and follow him. One who doesn’t do this will be the greatest fool and loser in eternity because of these 4 reasons. These are four great encouragements to be a true disciple of Christ.
So we have non-negotiable conditions, and 4 powerful reasons to meet that condition. We will not have time to see both. First let us see the non-negotiable terms today, and this evening I plan to bring many practical applications from these conditions, and then the 4 powerful reasons next week.
Verse 24: Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.”
He says it to his disciples now. Is this new to them, not heard? We must understand this is not something the Lord is saying for the first time. He has been saying this repeatedly: Matthew 10:37: “The one who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and the one who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And the one who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 The one who has found his life will lose it, and the one who has lost his life on My account will find it.”
The same thing is said in Mark 8, and then in a different setting in Luke 14:25, when he saw a lot of people following: “There went great multitudes to Him and He turned and said to them, ‘If any man come to me and hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.’”
Even John 12: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a grain of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone. But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.”
Then in Matthew 8, we have seen some scribe wanted to follow him. He said, “the foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head.” Then a man comes says, “I will follow, let me go and say good bye to Father,” he says he who puts his hand on the plow and turns back is not fit to be a disciple.
Think of that! Jesus didn’t just say that, unless we forsake all that we have, we would find it ‘hard’ or ‘difficult’ to be His disciple. He lays it on the line: Unless we forsake all that we have, we “cannot” be His disciple. He says repeatedly, again and again, unless the commitment is total, we “cannot” be His disciple. It seems to me that Jesus often said this to weed out many of His false disciples and not encourage anyone to superficially follow him. Many began to follow Him. But then, in the midst of their following, He would turn to them and remind them of what “following” Him would really require of them. And as a result, many of them left Him and followed Him no further. They had counted the cost and decided that they didn’t want to pay it.
He has talked about the conditions and sacrifice of discipleship. He has talked about the cost of discipleship. He has talked about the pain involved, the severed relationships, the hostility, the reproach, the rejection, the willingness to suffer, and here He reiterates it, this time to His disciples.
Why he taught them earlier, why again? Because it is clear to Him at this juncture that they have somehow forgot or missed the lesson. It’s one thing to teach a lesson, it’s something else to have it learned and live by it. And at this point, it is apparent that they haven’t really learned it.
How? We see that in Peter’s presumption. All the disciples are with a wrong idea of the Messiah, only waiting for glory, and they are not interested in the cross or suffering. When he said, “I have to suffer,” Peter said, “this shall not happen to you.” He rebuked him, “‘Get thee behind me, Satan.’” “You’re an offense to me, for you are thinking not the things that are of God but those that are of men.” He says, “Peter, that offends me because you’re thinking the way men think.” And how do men think? Men think about the gain without the pain, the crown without the cross, the glory without the suffering, the reward without the sacrifice. That’s the way men think, and you’re thinking like men think, not like God.
Because of their wrong thinking, the reason they think like that is because they have not understood the non-negotiable condition of discipleship, so he again teaches them this principle. Verse 24 and starts with the word “then,” and “then” means right then. He says, “I’ve got to get this straight with you, and right then He says to His disciples”—and the other gospels tell us there was also a crowd collected as well. And He says, “Look, let’s go back to that first lesson when I called you and told you to leave everything, your nets, your family, your livelihood, your lifestyle, your home, and come and follow me, and I would make you fishers of men. Let’s go back to that original abandonment of everything to follow me.” He says this to his disciples, so by this rule they might examine their own security.
I believe Jesus does the same thing to many of us today—even to those of us in church, and who already claim to be His followers. We may sincerely believe that we are following Jesus. And suddenly, there comes a crisis moment when Jesus turns to us and says what He says in this morning’s passage. Suddenly, we come face to face—in a fresh way—with the real cost of following Jesus. Suddenly, we have to make a decision: Will we genuinely count the cost and continue to follow Him? Or will we stop dead in our tracks, cling to our own life as the most precious thing to us, and decide that we will follow Him no further?
The Lord challenges us many times in our life with the cost of following Him. Because He loves us so much, and is so jealous for our complete devotion, I suspect that He is willing to do this again and again in our lives; until He fully weans us of the vain things of this world, and truly has full possession of our hearts.
So this is something Jesus has been saying repeatedly, Jesus’ recurring themes. He went back to it again and again and again. The Holy Spirit records this in the New Testament again and again because we will never understand salvation and we will never understand discipleship unless we understand this principle, so oft repeated. We are just like the disciples… he teaches repeatedly but we never learn, and here the Holy Spirit again brings this truth before our mind in a fresh way so we learn this.
Very profound, weighty, and vital words ever uttered by Jesus. I have been struggling under the weight of these words the whole week and whole night yesterday, trying to grasp what it practically means in my life and our church lives. They should make us drive from all worldly thoughts, stop thinking like men’s interests, preoccupation of temporal and worldly concerns. The passage brings us face to face to weigh eternal realities and makes our soul stand on the edge of eternity and see what is really important in this life in view of eternity. This gives us a taste of the world to come. If we grasp this by the Holy Spirit’s illumination, every thought and value system and relationship must be adjusted to suit the great issues of eternity.
I hope you will hear this with an open heart. It comes from Someone who infinitely loves us so much that He willingly went to Jerusalem, suffered many things, and willingly laid down His life for us, and who desires, above all else, our eternal joy with Him in glory. Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to use this to make us true disciples of Christ.
Non-Negotiable Terms of Discipleship
Verse 24: Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.”
Jesus reminds us that those who wish to follow Him must follow Him by way of the cross. If anyone must enter my following seriously and join my following army, 3 imperatives follow. It is like taking a journey. If anyone wants to take this journey, he must say farewell to self, pick up your baggage – the cross, and start the journey of following. Jesus demands of all who would come after Him: do these 3 things…
This is so important… Many say conditions of discipleship and conditions to be saved are 2 different things… you can be saved and not be a disciple and later become a disciple and walk like this… Fully wrong… These are conditions not only of discipleship, but even to be saved… We will see that is why he brings judgment in the last verses of this chapter. If you don’t do this, you are not saved at all.
He just now said, “I have to go the way of the cross to redeem my people.” If the benefits of my cross are to be applied for you and justify you in the day of judgment, you have to take seriously denying self, taking your cross, and following Him. May we not take this lightly… These are not conditions to grow in discipleship, but conditions to truly experience the benefits of salvation.
Notice the word MUST… this is a must for us to be saved, a must for us to be a true disciple, this is the must of a divine imperative for all believers.
Let us look at this important verse.
Notice Verse 24: “If anyone wishes to come after me…” The original is willing after me to follow. Wishes is a very strong word. This is the essence of discipleship… it is a constant commitment of the will to follow him. …willingly, gladly, full-hearted, full will, committed to the person of Christ as he is revealed in the word of God. Any man be willing to come. It denotes a deliberate decision, determination, with cheerfulness and resolution to come after, deeply considering everything… It is his own free full will, but others may decide to follow Jesus because of parents, or church, or society they live pushes them to do that by scaring them about hell or heaven, or some other reason but here the man or woman gladly without any compulsion… a free wish… to follow Christ.
When there are so many things to follow in the world… pursue the ambitions and allurements of the world or who follow so many others in Twitter, Facebook, follow many. But this man’s desires have changed, his affections have turned from all the world to desiring to follow Christ as the ultimate choice, Christ above everything. It’s not a fleeting desire to follow Christ but a determination that sticks with him continually whatever circumstance. It continues… The tense of the verbs: ‘If anyone wishes and keeps wishing and desires and keeps desiring to decisively come after Me, let him…’ In other words, Jesus qualifies the desire as that of longing to resolutely come after Christ and Christ alone (conveyed by the aorist infinitive).
We may ask, who in the world will come like that? By nature who will wish to come after Christ? No one. But God in regenerating grace, the Holy Spirit quickens a soul and opens the eyes of that man/woman… mind eyes are opened in faith… oh, that man sees Christ with infinite glory… the pearl of great price… willing to sell everything he has… Like Paul, his great resolution of life becomes… “I want to know Him…”
Philippians 3:8-10: “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them mere rubbish, so that I may gain Christ, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.”
When the Holy Spirit opens a man’s eyes like this… His greatest life resolution is to know and follow Christ and be ready to fulfill any condition. …is to run out to a living attachment to Christ and joyfully submit to the word of Christ. If truly that work of regeneration has happened to you, this is the desire you will have… more than anything, you will wish to follow and attach yourself with Christ. Question is, has the Holy Spirit opened your eyes and given this willingness? If not, we have to pray for that first.
If you are coming like this, with a determinate wish… Then, there are 3 imperatives… These are the demands of discipleship…
1 . He Must Deny Himself
He must repudiate/reject himself… let him deny himself… The force of the imperative is clear: if you want to attach yourself to me, so the virtue of what I am going to accomplish by going to Jerusalem, suffering many things, being killed, and rising on the third day… If you want to be attached to me so much as to experience the virtues that come from my suffering and death… here are the terms: You must repudiate yourself. Peter had advised Christ to spare himself, but Christ tells them all, they must be so far from sparing themselves that they must deny themselves.
The middle voice conveys that it is now the disciple’s desire to do so. He has seen Christ and longed for Him; in so doing, the disciple denies Himself in favor of belonging to Christ. Deny himself. What does it mean?
The word “deny” is used several other times in the Gospels, primarily to describe the occasion when Peter denied that he knew Christ. We learn something from this. Peter was so intent on saving his skin that he vigorously denied Christ. What did Peter do? When they asked… he denied all connection with Christ… he cursed and swore and utterly detached himself from Jesus. He disowned all connection to Jesus… that is called denial. In essence, he gave up Christ for self-protection. Now, turn that denial on its head. Christ calls for us to give up self-protection for Christ.
That is a strong, intensified word used here… “Would you be attached to me… willing to come after me as a true disciple… you must do something with regard to yourself like what Peter did with me.” There was a repeated and resolute disavowal to any attachment or connection. “I know not the man…” He put as much distance as words could put between himself and Christ. You have to do this with yourself… Deny himself.
The word “deny” means to disown, hate, set aside, let him disown himself. It could be translated, “Let him refuse any association or companionship with himself.” In Tamil it says hate yourself. Jesus isn’t simply speaking here of a minor little act of denying ourselves something that we want—like a bowl of ice-cream, sweets we deny to lose weight, or “I will not watch bad movies for Christ.” He is speaking of nothing less than a full denial and renunciation of our very “selves.” The original is very strong. It means to “deny utterly”; to completely “renounce” (leave hand) and “disown” our natural focus toward “self” entirely.
Not deny something external to myself… but myself. Mark says he said this to the whole crowd. This is where all true discipleship starts. In my mind… I begin to deny self.
Why? How can I deny self? I always live with that… what does it mean? He’s not just talking about your self-conscious self. What He’s talking about is self as the center of everything in your life. See, the assumption here is we are all created to live for the glory of God. God had to be the center of our lives… all our thinking has to be God-centered, God-pleasing, and satisfying. But after the fall and sin, the terrible thing that happened to us is, the center of our lives became self. Everything now you think today is around your self, isn’t it? Self-satisfaction is the goal of life.
Self-satisfaction and self-promotion are the devil’s creed. The whole aim of Satanic policy is to get self-satisfaction recognized as the chief end of man. He is called the prince of the world because self-interest rules the world. Self is the idol of every natural man. It is also for you… it influences how we think, feel, and live… The chief end of every man is self-satisfaction. This is the result of sin. He says you should radically hate that self which is the center of your life, thoughts, and actions.
The assumption behind this demand is that in the vast crowd of people, in all the variety of ways they express their sinful manifestations… it is all for self-satisfaction and promotion. Self is the center. For the Pharisees, scribes… it manifests in respectable religiosity… scrupulous obedience to all details of outward religion, totally neglecting the condition of the heart… outwardly clean… inwardly dead man’s bones – self-righteousness is sin. Just put up a show…
For other publicans, harlots, disobeying God’s word outwardly… living in sinful ways… adultery, fraud, covetousness… All of us live a life of self-centered idolatrous self. No one can enter saving union with Christ without that changing.
If you look at the full spectrum of sinners who lived, they manifest their sinful idolatry of self in a variety of ways. In every sinner, whatever way he manifests his sins… there is a core of idolatrous, sinful self-centeredness in every single one of them… not one of them will enter eternal life until he fundamentally and radically detaches himself from that idolatrous self-centeredness. If you would come after me… the starting point is a radical, fundamental detachment of self-centered idolatry… This is the common denominator of every sinner. All we like sheep have gone astray… everyone of us to his own way.
Like the vast crowd there… today here… our problem is self-centered idolatry… in some it reveals itself in a very religious way… many sinners… they join church… want to live a Christian life and want to go to heaven… but if you assess their deepest motives, it is self-satisfaction, self-promotion, and self-protection. “Why do you want to be saved? Because I don’t want to suffer hell but enjoy heaven…” That is the goal. Their ultimate end is not the glory of God: it is Self. They think they can please God with self-righteousness… self-works. Outwardly obey God. Others… living in sinful ways… adultery, fraud, covetousness… All of us live a life of self-centered idolatry; we cannot enter a saving union with Christ without a fundamental radical repudiation/denial of self-centeredness… He must deny himself.
Now, Jesus here calls us to do something that is antithetical to everything we are told by the world and our own fallen inclinations. Everything in us and around us is geared toward gratifying and glorifying the principle of “self.” Even the concept of “spirituality,” in our day, has come to refer to the process of fully realizing and actualizing the “self.” And yet, Jesus calls us to do the very opposite that all of society and all our inner compulsions are telling us to do. Jesus tells us—as a first step in His call—to dethrone “self.” We must lay aside our self “as the chief object of our life.”
Do you have a clue what Jesus is talking about… what in the world is he talking about… deny self… “I live for myself…” this is utter nonsense… If you have ever been brought by the Holy Spirit to the trauma of what you have been as an idolatrous, self-centered sinner, how utterly filled with self… you totally ignored God and his claims… If in the eyes of faith you have seen Christ selflessly give himself to redeem you on the cross… when you see the selflessness of Christ in his suffering and cross… and see in that background how horribly selfish you are… and have seen selfhood by eyes illuminated by the Holy Spirit, you know what I am talking about.
For the ugliest things all come from your life is the center of self… this is the one that hinders you from living for God’s glory… for which you were created… this is the thing that makes you always prefer your comfort, your gain, more than God’s glory and his kingdom… This is the idolatrous self. You see it as a horrible thing, and You deny it as something obnoxious…
This is non-negotiable. The first farewell that must be said is farewell to self. In your mind, you deny the flesh regularly… You don’t satisfy self anymore… its fleshly cravings, desires, ambitions, you deny that… There must be a fundamental, basic repudiation of self as the integrating factor of life… self-righteousness, self-will, self-determination, self-satisfaction… there must be a repudiation of self as the center of one’s existence.
Deny all thoughts of your self-righteousness… your good devotion… self-righteous acts can save you… your own self-will can make you holy… self-determination deny… This is the most difficult way to deny self. Deny you have the capacity to be what God wants you to be, you have in yourself the ability to be anything good at all. You’ve got to deny that. You don’t trust yourself anymore… Like Paul says, there is nothing good in me…
You can’t please God in the flesh. You can’t redeem yourself in the flesh. It is a selfless perspective that says, “I am nothing, I can do nothing, I can contribute nothing to my worth.”
That’s the first essential in the Christian life. That’s the way you come to Christ and that’s the way we live. A heart illuminated by the Holy Spirit sees fleshly self is the root of all sin and misery… Self is cast away and Christ enters. With Paul you say, “And so I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but”—what?—“Christ lives in me.”
Realizing my utter self-emptiness, I subject myself to resources available only in Christ, in an utter rejection of self-sufficiency. We put no confidence in the flesh. For a man to deny his self… the first step in the Sermon on the Mount should have happened to him… This is again the same message of the Sermon on the Mount… what is the first step in the golden ladder of beatitude of who will enter the Kingdom… The Holy Spirit opens a man’s eyes and shows his utter poverty in himself… in verse 3, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom.” The foundation of all virtue is to be poor in spirit. That is, to be inwardly in poverty. How poor? Ptōchos in the Greek. How poor is that? So poor you have to beg, close your eyes in shame, and utter inability. “I am nothing, can do nothing…” so poor you have no worth… you can only beg… depend on the pity of others.
You are destitute. You have no way. You are humbled by your wretchedness. And you sit, as it were, as a beggar, crying out for someone to give you something. You are that poor. You have nothing. And so the Lord says those who come into my Kingdom aren’t those who think they’re somebody, but those who know they’re nobody and have no resource.
Until you see how damned we are, how poor, and you will never understand why you should deny yourself… total poverty in spirit… you cannot be a disciple… you can never appreciate how precious my grace and forgiveness is. Until we know how utterly poor we are, we can’t ever know how great His riches are.
That is why the term has to do with total poverty. The psalmist said, “The Lord is near to those that are brokenhearted and to those who are contrite or crushed in their spirit.” Out of resources. Only desperate people come to God.
Those who don’t deny themselves and try to live a Christian life with self-righteousness… are like that Pharisee says, “I thank thee that I am not as other men, even as this publican. I tithe and I fast and I do all this.” He had a good self-image. And then in the corner is this guy with his head down on the ground, he won’t even look up, and he’s pounding on his chest and he’s saying, “O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” He won’t even look up. And Jesus says that man went home justified rather than the other. You see, you come on these terms, when you have run out of resources, when you know you can’t do anything about your sin, when you are bankrupt in your spirit.
Only when you deny yourself being poor in spirit, you mourn, sorrowful over their condition, only those who mourn, are humbled and become meek. Only they hunger and thirst for righteousness which they don’t have.
First, then, you come to Christ denying yourself. And that means you take Christ on His terms, not yours. The proud sinner wants Christ and his pleasure, Christ and his covetousness, Christ and his immorality, but you don’t get Him on those terms.
And then once you’ve come to Christ, Jesus is saying here, it becomes a way of life to deny yourself. Truly that is the most happy life… because our greatest enemy is our self… the reason for all sorrow is self… For I’m not happy when my self acts, I’m happy when the Spirit of God acts in me. Joy comes to me in obedience, in holiness.
Arthur Pink said, “Growth in grace is growth downward. It is the forming of a more and more lower estimate of ourselves, it is a deepening realization of our nothingness. It is a heartfelt recognition that we are not worthy of the least of God’s mercies.” We have to put off, Ephesians 4:22 says, the old man, corrupted by lust. So self-denial becomes the life pattern. We say no to self; we say yes to the Spirit of God.
2 . He Must Take Up His Cross
Take up the cross. Lift up and begin to carry his cross… Put yourself there… among those disciples… They have always seen execution by crucifixion… for them the cross meant rejection, suffering, and cruel death as an outcast of society. Jesus says if you would come after me… “I must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things and die… you must take up and begin to carry your cross.”
The cross is not any problem in our life… one said “my wife/husband is my cross,” or “neighbor or mother in law,” or “sickness…” What does that cross include? The cross includes all that divine providence brings in the way of trials, afflictions, and hardship as a result of following Jesus Christ. The cross is here put for all sufferings, as men or Christians, providential afflictions, persecutions for righteousness’ sake. The cross symbolizes rejection, shame, and opposition of the world… hostility of the world… to one attached in faith and love to Christ… The cross is the suffering alone that results in faithful attachment to Christ… the intimation is each believer will have his share of that suffering.
Not just suffering, but we actively take the cross upon ourselves. The cross signifies marching towards the death of self. Taking means we take this path willingly… He does so because fellowship with God in Christ is worth it… Knowing of the surpassing value of Christ… fellowship of his suffering is so great… he willingly takes the cross…
In the disciples’ mind, Jesus was not yet crucified… for them… Regularly, Romans would crucify thousands of men. Very common. They had seen crucifixions a lot. They know what the cross meant. The cross always meant rejection, shame, and cruel suffering and death. The disciple must be willing to endure persecution, rejection, reproach, shame, suffering, even martyrdom, for His sake.
To them, the cross meant you’re walking to death, you’re moving toward your martyrdom. That’s what it meant. And that’s what the Lord is saying. You must perceive following me as putting on the instrument of your own execution. It is a condemned criminal being forced, as an act of public humiliation, to carry the instrument of his own death up the street and to the place of his execution.
But you will bear reproach and you will be ridiculed if you live for Christ. That’s what 2 Timothy 3 means: “all who live godly will suffer persecution.” It means that when you come to Jesus Christ, you’re willing to suffer the indignities of a condemned criminal in the service of Christ, if you’re called on to do so.
Now, we may not see that much opposition, not like martyrs, but if we walk after Jesus Christ in total devotion to Him, we’ll set up a reaction all around us.
This is the great desire of the born again man… You come to the end of your self in poor in spirit and you are so enamored and so desirous of the precious gift of salvation that He offers that you will willingly follow him in whatever conditions… You hate yourself, and take up your cross, and even sacrifice your life.
That is how I came to Christ… “oh he was everything for me… willing to lose wealth, lose life, name, even life…” But sadly after a few years… we fall from first love, and we back off from that original commitment? That’s why He’s reminding the disciples and us as well… Where is your commitment now? And the cross is the suffering that is ours because of a faithful connection to Jesus Christ. The thought here is magnificent. It is magnificent.
It’s as if you could see Jesus Christ going along the road to the cross, the Via Dolorosa, moving to His own execution, bearing on His back the cross upon which He will bear the sins of all the world. And in His train, millions of people, all with their cross, willing to take His reproach. A glorious scene.
Luke doesn’t just say “take up His cross,” Luke says “take up His cross daily,” every day, every day, every day. It’s a way of life, folks, for us. The hymn writer said, “Must Jesus bear the cross alone? And all the world go free? No, there’s a cross for everyone, there’s a cross for me. The consecrated cross I’ll bear, ’til death shall set me free. And then go home, my crown to wear, for there’s a crown for me.” That’s what our Lord is teaching here.
The way of Christ is the way of a cross. In this case, Jesus does not tell us to bear His cross but bear your own cross. Christ bore a cross that we cannot bear. He carried the collective weight of our sins and God’s judgment upon Him.
He carried this heavy, terrible cross all his life… That is why here in the same way that He calls upon us to do so as His followers. He says, “I carry and go to Jerusalem, suffer many things and be killed.” We see it in the Garden when He agonized over drinking the cup of divine wrath. Nothing turned Him from doing the Father’s will; not suffering, not jeering, not misunderstanding, not slander, not even death. He calls us to the same.
The call to “take up his cross” is not judicial as with Christ’s death on the cross; rather it is evidentiary of one that has died to self in order to live unto Christ. It is a different attitude about all of life. It signifies that the way of Christ is now the believer’s whole life.
First, It is supposed that the cross lies in our way, and is prepared for us. We must not make crosses to ourselves, but must accommodate ourselves to those which God has made for us. Every disciple of Christ has his cross, and must count upon it as each has his special duty to bear it. That is our cross which Infinite Wisdom has appointed for us, and a Sovereign Providence has laid on us, as fittest for us.
Secondly, That which we have to do, is, not only to be silent under it, but we must take up the cross, must improve it to some good advantage. We should not say, “This is an evil, and I must bear it, because I cannot help it,” but, “This is an evil, and I will bear it, because it shall work for my good for soul and the glory of Christ.”
That is a non-negotiable term of discipleship… he must lift up his cross.
3 . He Must Be Following Me
Thirdly… He must be committed to a life of obedience to my person… be following after me. The verb is be following me.
Christ’s death will be of value only to those who are willing to die to sin and self and follow him. A paraphrased version: “if anyone wishes to be my follower, he must once and for all say farewell to self, decisively accept shame, persecution for my sake, and in my cause, and must then follow and keep on following me.”
Discipleship is loyal obedience. “And follow me.” “And follow me.” The text literally says, “Let him be following me.” It’s a way of life. A disciple of Christ comes after him, as the sheep after the shepherd, the servant after his master, the soldier after their captain. He is one that aims at the same end that Christ aimed at, the glory of God, one that walks in the same way that he walked in, is led by his Spirit, treads in his steps, submits to his conduct, and follows the Lamb, wherever he goes (Revelation 14:4).
It’s a submissiveness to the Lordship of Christ that becomes a pattern of living. It can even relate to the word “to imitate.” “Follow me as I am revealed in my word.” John 8:31 says: “If you continue in my Word, then are you my real disciple.” It’s a life pattern.
The simple definition of a disciple: denying himself and taking up the cross… Following how does it practically look? Such a disciple, regardless of personal cost to self, or what the world thinks of him, this man will do whatever Christ commands in the word of God and reject and flee whatever he forbids us.
Only a man who denied himself and takes the cross, can fully obey Christ in his word. We follow Christ by obeying his word. So my word is more than something of interest to them… it binds their consciences and captures their will… yesterday was the 504th reformation day… like Martin Luther said, “my conscience is bound by the word of God… I can do no other…” it directs their hands, feet, eyes, emotions, and will.
They follow me… They do my will… in the strength of my spirit… Real obedience… They obey me in everything I say… so when I say “do not rob but work…” “do not give room to the flesh,” they obey… “do work as I tell them…” When I say “husbands love wives,” they do that; “wives be subject to husbands,” they take it seriously and follow me… conscious, deliberate pattern of life… knowing and doing my revealed will… is what matters most in life to them.
And that’s what our Lord meant in Matthew 7 when He said, “It’s not everyone who says, ‘Lord, Lord’ that enters my Kingdom but he that doeth the will of my Father.” And so, the true disciple is marked, then, by self-denial, cross-bearing, and loyal obedience.
If you’re going to take a trip, the first thing you do is say goodbye; pick up your bag, proceed on your trip. The same thing here. This is the trip of a lifetime which will change your life. You say goodbye to self, pick up your burden, your cross, follow in loyal obedience. That’s the true trip to heaven.
This is what it means to follow Jesus… there’s a definite order of events involved in the things that Jesus says. Unless you desperately wish to follow him in your spiritual poverty, you will not deny yourself; if you do not deny yourself, you will not take up the cross; unless you take up the cross, you cannot follow him. So unless we have denied ourselves, and have taken up the cross, we will only be kidding ourselves if we think we’re really following Jesus!
Applications
Christ says this is my school, and the admission criteria for my students is denying self, taking up the cross, and following.
Matthew Henry stated, “The first lesson in Christ’s school is self-denial.” It is first because until we come to the point of desiring Christ and turning from self, we will put self before everything. Is that where you find yourself this morning? Do you live as though you are the center of the universe, as though your way rules?
Have you joined this school… have you started learning in this school of Christ? This is true Christianity… Are these going to be just sermons and verses, and phrases we use and go? Do you know what this is by experience?
Do you know what is dying to self in life… in the workplace, in church, in family, society… what is dying to self? What does it mean to live a life of self-denial? Dying to self? Taking up the cross… how will it look in life…? What does that really mean? Have you ever thought about that? Think of it this way.
To deny self and taking the cross is firstly something that takes place in my mind. When I realize my terrible fleshly self is the result of sin and the cause for all misery and hinders me from knowing Christ and glorifying God… I am determined to deny it, and take the cross and follow him. When my fleshly self asserts itself in bringing any thought or emotions that are against God, I put to death and kill my fleshly self. I say no to my own self-will and fleshly self-cravings and prideful thoughts… it tells me to be proud, selfish, envious, get hurt when I am ignored and insulted. I deny its rights and kill them… It hurts to deny self-thoughts that naturally come from inside and we think it is our own… but we learn to see them as an expression of self but opposition to God’s will. So we deny and kill it, it is not easy… then there is suffering for the flesh… because it doesn’t get what it wants… there is pain and brokenness inside… something like crucifixion within us… there is suffering in the flesh… Have you experienced that? That happens when you start denying self… This in a way is suffering in the flesh.
1 Peter 4:1-2: “Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because the one who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human lusts, but for the will of God.”
So the Holy Spirit gives me strength to kill the fleshly self and keep saying no demands to the proud self-flesh… when we live like this daily… more and more my self is crucified… and I become more and more like Jesus… then people around me, my wife, children, neighbors, see me as such a winsome and lovely person as Christ to live with me…
How does it manifest in different ways in life? When you are neglected, unforgiven, or when you are purposely set at naught and you sting and you hurt with the insult of that oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, that is dying to self. When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed and your advice is disregarded and your opinions are ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself, you take it all patiently in loving silence, you’re dying to self.
And when you lovingly and patiently bear any disgrace, any irregularity, any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with folly and spiritual insensitivity and endure it as Jesus did, that is dying to self. When you are content with any food, any money, any clothing, any climate, any society, any solitude, that providence brings… any interruption by the will of God, that is dying to self. And when you never care to refer to yourself in conversation or record your own good works, or itch after commendation from others, and when you truly love to be unknown, that is dying to self.
When you see your brother prosper and have his needs wondrously met, though your needs are greater and still unmet, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy and never question God, that is dying to self. And when you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and humbly admit inwardly as well as outwardly that he is right and find no resentment and no rebellion in your heart, that is dying to self. Are you dead yet?
Oh, some of us are how lively to self… little touch, okay… it will burn like a fiery furnace… “oh, they insulted me… he ignored me… he didn’t think I am important…” how much we are alive to the flesh…
Do you see why many of us God doesn’t use powerfully in his kingdom? It is because of this self-glory… we know so little of dying to self… self is so important… oh, even denying it for 1 minute is terrible torture for you…
Do you see some of you why you are not able to serve in church… why for me… “oh, if they say something to me…” so self-sensitive…
Hendrickson says, a person who denies self no longer promotes his own predominantly selfish interests but has become wrapped up in the cause of promoting the glory of God in every sphere of life. Doesn’t care what people say about self… Denying self means subjecting oneself to Christ’s discipline school.
Oh, we all have to start in the LKG of this school of Christ. Learn from him what denying self means… Learn to live not admiring ourselves… Not live for satisfying ourselves… nor seek our own things, nor be our own end.
- We must learn to deny ourselves for Christ, and his will and glory, and the service of his interest in the world.
- We must deny ourselves for his church and brothers and sisters in the church and for their good.
- We must deny ourselves in family and neighbors for their good.
- We must deny ourselves, deny the appetites of the body for the benefit of the soul.
Secondly: If These Are Negotiation Terms…
Do you see why Jesus said the gate for life is narrow and few find it?
We have a new center to life for… not self, but Christ. A new attitude to life with… not enjoying life, but taking up the cross. A new goal in life… not self-satisfaction, but following Christ.
See, many Christians never grow in the Christian life precisely because they have never understood this… Maybe some of your problem is exactly here… the root of how you see Christianity has gone wrong here… and that is why you never make progress. Every time self comes between you and Christian service, self between duty, and self between growth… self overcomes…
Issues that hinder you and bring detachment between you, Christ, and his word… 10 years ago… are still the same issues in 2020… and it will be the same in 2030, 40, 50… if you don’t understand Christianity is a life of self-denial… not self-satisfaction, you will never make progress… Keep it in writing.
What is the problem? You never stood in the presence of the Lord of glory… and his cross, and hated yourself and denied self… And saw your self as a hateful snake…
Your self is important… you are still the middle of the universe… you are upset when the world or circumstances don’t make you the middle of the universe… Could it be… because of your self-pride… you are unable to humble and serve Christ’s church in many ways? Your self hinders… self-hurt cannot be borne… “they will tell that and this…”
You are maybe religious… decent… but have never known what it is to be broken… hate self… You make sure in every situation… you are kept on top… never have to be humbled… never experience shame… in every situation… you manage to live decently and not affect yourself… never prepared to take up the cross and rejection and insults for the sake of the Savior and the gospel… Self-righteousness… self-defense… self-will, that is the pattern of your life… You are thinking man’s interests… thinking always of yourself… just a little Jesus and Bible… to numb your conscience… you don’t want to leave everything… your conscience will accuse… so you live superficially…
You will never even be able to crawl… forget about walking or running in Christian progress and service and fruitfulness without these terms… you will never said no to yourself…
Finally, Meditate on the Coming 4 Solemn Eternal Reasons
Do you stagger at these terms… and decide to leave Christ’s following…? “Forget it… in this life… I can never do this…. These are verses nice to read… never can be practiced…” Before you come to that conclusion, then meditate about the 4 powerful reasons he gives… Make your decision after listening to those 4 reasons next week… God willing…
If you say the price is too much, listen to the powerful arguments. If you want to reject this command and go your own way, because your life, job, family, beauty, house, children, and things of this life are important. He says you will lose your life… you will be the greatest loser in life. If you reject me and say no to this command, and go, you will be the greatest fool in eternity. My judgment on you will be most severe when I come in all glory.
It is helpful to start with the wisdom of J.C. Ryle: “A religion that costs nothing is worth nothing and a cheap Christianity without a cross will prove in the end useless Christianity without a crown.”
You have provided a thorough expansion on the non-negotiable conditions of discipleship, focusing on the dire consequences of failing the test of self-denial and offering specific, practical applications for a Christian’s daily life and church commitment.
The Root of Failure: Refusing the Cost
We saw this morning the great demands of discipleship: deny yourself, take up the cross, and follow Me. If these are the negotiation terms, do you see why Jesus said the gate for life is narrow and few find it?
This is why many, many Christians never grow in the Christian life—because they have never grasped this. Maybe some of your problem is exactly here. The root of how you see Christianity has gone wrong here, and that is why you never make progress. Every time self comes between you and Christian service, self between duty, and self between growth… self overcomes.
The essence of repentance, as John Calvin writes, is turning from self and sin to turn obediently to the Lord. “He alone has duly denied himself who has so totally resigned himself to the Lord that he permits every part of his life to be governed by God’s will.” John Broadus breaks denying self down: to live not for your own inclinations, not for pleasure, but for usefulness; not for inclination, but for duty; not for self, but God (Romans 14:7-9; 15:2). Following Christ bears more weight than following your own desires.
God says, “Read my word and grow in faith.” That pleases me and glorifies me. But your self is not interested; it is more interested in what satisfies it—uselessly wasting time on TV, mobile… that is more self-entertaining… than sitting with God’s word and reading and meditating. Because self is the center, it is so difficult for you to do that. You never learned, “I have to deny myself… not listen to this deceiving, fleshly self… and do what pleases God… take up the Bible and deny self…”
The same happens with praying, the same with serving Christ, gospel sharing… everywhere self overcomes. The same thing that was hindering your growth 10 years ago is still the same issue in 2020… and it will be the same in 2030, 40, 50.
Until you learn self-denial (SD), forget about walking or running in Christian growth… you will never ever be able to crawl in Christian progress… you will never make progress. Keep it in writing.
What is the problem? You never stood in the presence of the Lord of glory and his cross, and hated yourself and denied self… And saw your self as a hateful snake… The self which is the main hindrance for your blessing and your glorifying God… You set yourself to denying self in life… learn to deny… say no to self and yes to the commands of Christ in the Bible…
For some of you, self is important… you are still the middle of the universe… you are upset when the world or circumstances don’t make you the middle of the universe… Could it be because of your self-pride you are unable to humble and serve Christ’s church in many ways? Your self hinders… self-hurt cannot be borne… “they will tell that and this…”
You are maybe religious… decent… but never known what it is to be broken… hate self… You make sure in every situation you are kept on top… never have to be humbled… never experience shame… in every situation you manage to live decently and not affect yourself… never prepared to take up the cross and rejection and insults for the sake of the Savior and gospel… Self-righteousness… self-defense… self-will—that is the pattern of your life… You are thinking man’s interests… thinking always of yourself… just a little Jesus and Bible… to numb your conscience… you don’t want to leave everything… your conscience will accuse… so you live superficially…
You will never even be able to crawl… forget about walking or running in Christian progress and service and fruitfulness without these terms… you will never said no to yourself…
Oh, we will see in the next verses… whatever you claim… if you don’t learn this and learn to lose your life… you will go to hell. Your whole Christianity is built on idolatrous selfhood… The surest way to go straight to hell is to be attached to idolatrous selfhood…
The Touchstone of the Cross
Just like the teaching of the cross is the touchstone of all true religion, it is also balanced on the other side by the touchstone of our cross. If you would know life and redemption, you must take up your cross. As surely Christ’s cross alone accomplishes salvation, the same way no man or woman can possess that salvation without taking up his own cross.
Christ’s cross and our cross are two different things. His cross and yours meet in the sinner’s salvation… completely different, but never separated. But if you leave the balance and leave one, you go into completely wrong teaching. One of the greatest curses today is that it glories in His cross but avoids our cross. They fail to teach: It is only if we suffer with him, we reign with him.
See, liberalism denies the uniqueness of Christ’s cross; opposite to that, monasticism makes a savor of man’s cross. True Christianity says: in his cross alone is pardon and forgiveness… but the sight I had of his person and his work has bound my heart to him so much… in attachment to him and I hate myself, I gladly shoulder my cross and follow him.
If your sight of Christ’s cross has not made you hate and deny self and take your cross, your salvation is questionable.
Thirdly, As a Church We Need to Grasp This
We need to be a church denying self, taking the cross, and following… how?
The simple definition: regardless of personal cost, we believe and do whatever Christ teaches us and reject and flee whatever he forbids us.
Thomas Watson said, “Self-denial is the foundation of godliness. If it is not well laid, all the building will fall.”
Self-denial is the path to true blessing. It involves exchanging one set of seeming joys for a joy that is unspeakable and full of glory. This is the path of great blessing because this is the path that brings us closer fellowship with Christ.
The greatest need of the church is to restore this truth of self-denial. With it, we can be more than conquerors; without it… we have lost all spiritual power and power to turn the world upside down.
As believers, we must keep God’s word at great personal cost. How should we practice self-denial in day-to-day lives?
Negative Example: The Claim of Sin
Firstly, a negative example. Have you seen how people are willing to give up for their sin? Sin is self-worship. Sin makes a man deny what is good for a person in exchange for temporary personal pleasures… the demands of sin illustrate negatively what Christ requires of us in self-denial. Both Christ and sin make the same claim.
There was a man who loved a rich, beautiful woman for many years and married her. She made him CEO of her company. But later fell into adultery… in order to pursue his sin, he forsook his wife, position, family, friends, his reputation, church… education… even Christ… he lives a life of absolute commitment to sin regardless of personal cost.
This example illustrates what Christ means by self-denial. If a man forsook so much for his sin and his own selfish desires, then should we in principle forsake less for Christ?
William Jay asked unrepentant sinners: “You tell our master requires us to deny ourselves… does your master require no self-denial?” Both want self-denial… but here is the difference: Our master requires us to deny what is false and vain; yours what is solid, eternal and true. Ours what would make us miserable; yours what would render you really happy. Ours deny cravings of fleshly passion; yours demands of reason and conscience… ours deny body for the sake of soul; yours deny soul for body… ours give up all sinful things, without which we will be blessed now and richly rewarded… yours part with what will make you poor indeed forever and ever.
Self-Denial in Keeping the Sabbath
Today, you know one of the ways how Satan and the world persecutes the church… by making Sabbath observance extremely difficult. That is the primary way it persecutes the church. While it is not impossible, but if you are faithful in the Sabbath, it will limit employment opportunities… sometimes cost your job… exclude children from sports, and many other consequences…
The Sabbath is one area where it is costly for us to take up the cross and follow Christ. So at this time, the Sabbath is the ideal litmus test of our self-denial and commitment to Christ.
The basic rule is “thou shall do no labor”… God clearly teaches… Jesus taught essential work of necessity and mercy is fine, though some of us use Jesus’ teaching to find a loophole from Jesus’ teaching to do even non-essential things.
We are ready to disobey God and go to work… we argue, “if I lose my job… how will I provide for my family… if I come to church… will the church feed me…?” Same arguments Old Testament priests used in Nehemiah’s days…
God said… but is the arm of the Lord too short to save? Does not God promise to bless obedience and punish disobedience?
This reveals distrust in the goodness and wisdom of God’s providence… This doesn’t mean obedience will be easy… It may be difficult… Is that not how we deny ourselves by obeying Christ… or just giving excuses or arguments…?
Are we superficial Christians who look for and keep only which of the commandments can you keep without personal costs? Are you willing to deny yourself for obeying God’s commands on the Sabbath? Are we willing to deny our family some entertainment things on the Sabbath?
Who has ever lost anything when they kept the Sabbath even at great personal cost? Has Christ’s compassion failed when we obey him? Has he not abundantly supplied all our needs in every stage of our life… will he stop doing so when you lose something because you want to honor his word?
We can deceive ourselves… “okay, gone to church and worshiped God… that is enough… not required to keep the whole day.” Our heart is deceptive… watch out… We refuse to deny ourselves because we believe it is too costly.
Self-Denial in Worship
We must deny ourselves with respect to the true worship of God. Do you place the worship of God above every other priority in life?
Example: one man with an unbelieving wife somehow a marriage happened… he was bringing her to a reformed church… But the wife didn’t like the long sermon… and wanted to go to a worldly church… where there was a short sermon, interesting jokes, dancing… many programs… choir music, full of entertainment. He is a born again man… it hurt him… but she said she will leave him or make the house miserable… throw vessels… To manage that situation, he agreed to her wish. This affected his spiritual life… and even the children became nominal, worldly Christians…
This man refused to deny himself. Maybe his self-denial could have led to her conversion… or at least he obeyed Christ… and would be an example to his children…
Opposite: a woman… with an unconverted husband… in spite of his protests… she kept going… he troubled her so much… but she bore that burden for many years… obeying God’s command… God in his mercy converted the husband also… what joy…
This is the path for blessing… Whatever threats a wife or husband makes… we must remember it is important to obey God… no matter what hardship we face… that is denying self and taking our cross to follow Christ.
Should we expect the Lord to bless us when we place anything in our lives above his worship? This path may appear easier in the short term… but will Christ be with us in it? He will not.
Self-Denial in Prayer Meetings
Prayer meetings require a measure of self-denial. Weekly prayer meeting is difficult for some of you… some of you can easily attend… but the worst attended meeting is the prayer meeting in our church. I know Corona time is difficult, but even before it was the least attended.
However, they are no more important ministry in the church. Only through prayer meetings, the church procures the blessing of God’s Spirit on the preaching of the word… Actively pursue God’s glory and the growth of the kingdom… fervently plead with the Father for the needs of the church, society, and nations… Prayer meeting always precedes the blessing of God upon a church.
But sadly, many will not attend prayer meetings even if they will be willing to come to Bible study…
Are you willing to take the trouble to attend prayer meeting? Are you willing to pay the cost of travel… bear the inconveniences to make an extra trip to church in order to plead with the church?
Are you willing to take your children one day a week even if you miss tuition/playing… so you can teach them how important church prayer meeting is… and approach the throne of grace with the church when Christ is in our midst?
The most common reason for neglecting prayer is it is inconvenient… but inconvenient is an opportunity for Christian self-denial… it provides an opportunity to honor the Lord.
Someone tells you prayer meetings are boring… what can be boring when meeting the triune God with the church… there he promises to fill us with the fullness of joy of his presence… if we all come with faith… and not grieve the Holy Spirit… so he can inflame our hearts and zeal for the Father’s house…
Treat prayer meeting as an opportunity to deny yourself, take your cross, and follow Christ.
Self-Denial in Hospitality
Hospitality takes a measure of self-denial… it is so much less in many of us… a few great examples like Arul Dass’ family… a model… But what about others…? All of us should learn this… 1 Peter 4:9: “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.” Hebrews 13:2: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
These verses command we all should practice hospitality… it is not a gift only for a few. It is one of the best means to draw visitors into the church… to minister to those who are lonely and afflicted… to draw the people of the local congregation closely in love and fellowship…
Many don’t want to do it… they have a Martha Stewart mentality… because to entertain guests is too much work, “I have to do all the work… no one will help, so much risk, and not worth the trouble…”
Among many excuses, the truth is hospitality is often inconvenient, laborious, expensive… Should we not see hospitality as an opportunity for self-denial… and an opportunity for ministry?
Should we not show our self-denial here to obey the Bible command? The Bible says primarily the reason for hospitality is to minister to saints and promote fellowship… do not let the “Martha attitude” hinder your obedience to scriptures…
We must covet opportunities to deny ourselves in order to follow Christ… we rarely think of such occasions like hospitality to take up the cross, follow Christ… but we should begin to see that…
How we read of Christ’s compassion… often spending entire nights in prayer… and then ministering to the crowds when he was weary and tired… wanting to rest… but when he saw the crowds, he didn’t grumble, but fed them… Let his self-denial and generosity to sinners inspire ours…
May Christ’s love to us compel us to show his love to sinners. Hospitality is contrary to the laziness of our sinful flesh. Let us practice it more to service Christ and his church… let us not serve the Lord with that which costs us nothing.
Self-Denial in Marriage
If you are not married, show self-denial till you find a true believer. Today anybody is a Christian; idol worshipers, Roman Catholics are Christian… young men and women fall for anything they get… just the name “Christian” is enough… Be careful… make sure you marry in the Lord and deny anything else. When we buy gold… how much we test… ensure 916 KDM… How can we risk our entire life on the assumption “maybe he is a believer?” Nothing affects your spiritual life like the marriage relationship. Not only your life but the children who could be born, their spiritual life also depends on finding and marrying a true believer… Many true believers completely went wrong marrying a wrong person. Denying yourself and waiting on the Lord will result in lifelong blessings… he will bless with the highest blessings.
For those who are already married… Oh, if married people live by the principle of self-denial… there would be no divorce among Christians. A marriage built on self-denial is a marriage built on a strong foundation… godly families. We must learn to honor Christ in our marriages through self-denial.
Husbands can deny themselves by helping with children and studies instead of sitting on the sofa watching TV after work and leaving all responsibility with the wife. Wives are also tired… they have worked all day caring for home and children.
This is a glorious opportunity to deny ourselves, becoming more like Christ in mundane responsibilities. Denying self by caring for wives… one man said marriage is a great means to make us like Christ… the challenges that come, fights, conflicts… how much we have to swallow pride, anger, ego… struggles… so much is involved when you try to live as Christ said…
Husbands model Christ who loved the church and gave himself… sacrificially, purifying, caring love, unbearable love… you keep forgiving, forgiving, forgiving.
Wives deny themselves in submitting to the husband’s leadership and speaking well of him… Not give him up… even when he fully doesn’t deserve it. Self-denial will promote harmonious marriages, cultivate good communication… a blessing at home.
Self-Denial in Complaining by Contentment
Contentment in life is something we all should seek. The opposite is complaining/worrying, a sin of Israelites in the wilderness… and God terribly punished. But today we think we can keep complaining… God will keep quiet.
When we complain about circumstances… we not only harm our souls but others around us. Self-denial is needed to stop complaining.
One pastor’s family… praying for children… praying for children… wondered why God is not answering… God revealed to them… it is because of their complaining… the pastor will preach a powerful sermon… the pastor and wife will come home and keep grumbling… they also started complaining and gossiping at home, but then realized… and soon repented… to see how it affected their children… all that preaching is having no affect… but as soon as the service is over… they sin by complaining… and drive away any impression the Holy Spirit laid on their children’s heart to be saved… slowly the children also thought… “all that preaching is just namesake…” who began to be embittered against the church.
Contentment is the remedy for complaining. Thanking God for trials and in trials is both a divine command and an act of faith. It is good for the soul to rest in the wisdom of our father when he brings us under the rod.
Does not contentment make us happier? Is it not God-pleasing and God-glorifying? The Holy Spirit is grieved by complaining. He delights to teach us how to praise God singing hymns and spiritual songs.
Let us deny ourselves of complaining and let us follow Christ in contentment.
Finally
Self-denial is one of the fundamental principles of the Christian life.
See self-denial as the path of true blessing. Do not believe Satan’s lies. God has never disappointed those who have forsaken all in order to follow him. You cannot receive blessings from God unless you learn this. In self-denial, you walk with Christ. He walks with you.
Look at Christ’s denial and learn from him… he gave himself and took the road to Jerusalem… suffered many things, died. Christ’s birth, life, and death were all a continued act of self-denial, a self-emptying (Philippians 2:6-7).
We follow Christ, who bears it before us, bears it for us, and so bears it from us. He bore the heavy end of the cross, the end that had the curse upon it, that was a heavy end, and so made the other light and easy for us.
Draw strength from your union with Christ. He is the vine and you are the branches… Plead with him for the work of the Holy Spirit. Self-denial is not only a true blessing for you, but the greatest need of the church is self-denial.
Martyn Lloyd-Jones said: The world today is looking for and desperately needs true Christians. “I am never tired of saying what the church needs is not to organize evangelistic campaigns and attract outside people, but to begin herself to live the Christian life of self-denial. If she did that, men and women would be crowding into the church buildings. They would say… what is the secret of this?”
Grace Reformed Baptist Church, Bangalore 